British Telecom, not content with being a monopoly (they own every phone line in the country and even independant phone companies have to rent the lines from them) and still managing to find themselves in debt to the tune of 60 million pounds, have decided to take their frustrations out on Yours Truly.
Last night I received an e-mail stating that "Unfortunately we have forgotten to include the cost of your web-site..." (You mean I actually have to pay for that 3 megs of crap?) "...on our monthly itemised bill. The cost is £6.99 a month for the last twelve months."
To further kickstart my weekend with a sense of great expectation they went on, "There is no need to do anything. For your convenience we have taken the full costs from your direct debit account."
My convenience? How exactly is that convenient for somebody who is drowning already in the high-cost of survival in Godd Old Aristocratic Britain? I've got a mortgage that's breaking my back, insurance that's five times as much as the crap it's meant to insure, and an overdraft that could have pulled the Sudan into the twenty-first century. And those bastards have taken my last hundred quid to add to their huge tax burden!
Not so much 'for my convenience' as '...we shall now use you as a convenience...'
Fortunately they also included in their e-mail the number of their 'Help Desk'.
Unfortunately, it's closed until Monday.
I have written a letter of complaint to British Telecom's managing director, Mr. S. Hussein.
Now I'm off to visit Mr Jack Daniels.
God Bless Britain. God Bless the free market. God Bless the Queen, the Conglomerates, the Mighty and the Faceless. God Bless this Nobelled Isle, this Sceptic Tank, this Skidmarked Throne! I am humbled by the greed of others, their totalitarian power and their popularity. May their colons never prollapse and their children refrain from bursting from boils.
Brian :o)
P.S. Kevin...I'm glad to see that your sausage roll turned up safely.
