Situation wanted.

It is my privilege to be the agent for 200 Iraqi body doubles who, due to circumstances
quite beyond their control, are available for immediate employment.

Below are examples of previous assignments undertaken by these fine craftsmen.



P.S. Might I be so bold as to offer my own skills as a fully professional promoter of
unpopular causes and untenable positions for corporations and elected officials.
(Also available for smoke nights, hen's parties and exorcisms.)