On yer bike sunshine. Or rather on yer bike with where the sun doesn't shine. Dubbya already has something sporting British colours firmly wedged between his buttocks.

So...it's tasteful patriotism time, is it? Well, we Brits can upstage the Americans any time!

Fly the Union Jack on your bicycle saddles, America! After all we're used to being stuck up your big fat arses now!

A hands on approach to STOPPING THE WAR. (Boom, boom.)

Sorry to upstage you Brian on the Flockhart front, but in every there's a skeleton (boom, boom) in the cupboard of every *Star*. I have found a still from a porno movie Callista made when she was but an innocent slip of a gal sleeping her way to the bottom. (Not sure but I would imagine that Dottie Parker ... somewhere in between martinis #237 and #769 ... has already used that phrase.)

"All those pages and not one photo of the star-spangled banner!" Well Callista, let's redress the balance RIGHT NOW! The patriotism might be a little understated, but nontheless a bit of subtlety is a fine thing.

Eh, it's a horrible word, Terry... especially the last but one link. I don't think I would familiarize myself with being a picture on the forepart of an underpants.
But I find a nice shop against the vomit. To a certain extent, of course.

LATEST CELEBRITY NEWS!

Calista Flockheart is in training for this year's London Marathon.

When asked in a recent interview who she'd styled her infamous looks on Calista replied, "I saw some photographs of women starving in a National Geographic magazine whilst searching for an article about America. Can you believe it? All those pages and not one photo of the star-spangled banner! That's a disgrace! Anyhow...boy are those Iraqui girls attractive. Thank God for U.N. sanctions otherwise they'd all be big fat bastards like Rosanne."

In a move to appease the soft-minded, arse-stabbing, left-wing liberals of Australia this week, Primeminster Howard has released his "Bedtime Book of Humorous Political Anecdotes."

"This is the handbook for all those gay radicals that keep on screaming about refugee rights," Howard said at his first book signing. "It aims to provide the reader with the lighter side of the refugee crisis and tell the story as it truly is instead of the utter tosh that these handbag weilding benders keep spouting!"

Later today John Howard will be appearing at the Nelson Mandela Memorial Hall in New York, where he'll be autographing George Bush's ringpiece with his tongue.