At an inquest today into the death of a thirty-one year old man found floating in Michael Barrymore's swimming pool last year, an open verdict was returned. According to the ITV news the man had suffered massive sexual damage, had been high on drugs and alcohol and....

(Pause)

(Rewind)

....the man had suffered massive sexual damage? What the fu...? Oh...you mean that Michael Barrymore had stuck his penis up the man's arse and ripped his colon to shreds?

The ITV News: Protecting the reputations of celebrities on the ITV pay-roll by use of enigmatic wording since 1969.

Incidentally Terry...I've been trying to work out what George Bush Two (This Time it's Personal) has tattooed on his knuckles in the photograph you posted below. The nearest I can make out is 'Left' and 'Right'...