... and while I'm sitting here with a lap full of God's gift to the culinary world, let me bring your attention to this.

"2 years ago, I invented the foot braces. Between the invention of pinky rings and the foot braces, I tried nearly everything I can think of: Tesla coil, inducing wiring my body using high voltage, low amps. Electro-magnetic coils. Nothing worked as good as a pair of rings on the pinkies except the foot braces. The foot braces worked, and they worked better than the pinky rings."

"Please believe me. Everything you read is true and is important. Now people do not have to age anymore. People are believed to be able to stay physically young forever by using his new inventions "The Eternal Life Rings" and "The Eternal Life Foot Braces". The Eternal Life Rings are to be worn on both small fingers of a user during sleep."