There is something sad about watching Iain Duncan Smith and his fascist cohorts spitting bile at New Labour over the dais at the Tory Party Conference. Especially when you stop to consider that the policies implemented over the last few years by Tony Spin Blair -- policies that have brought about the downfall of the NHS, the destruction of the educational system and the annihilation of Public Services --were originally concocted by the Conservatives themselves. As my grandmother used to say, "It's the pot calling the kettle black is that,"although to be honest I'm not sure if there are racist overtones in that particular cliché.

One of the many reasons for the Tory Party's decline is the fact that New Labour (stronger, meaner and tumble-dried) are Old Tory revamped, making the Conservatives themselves nothing more than stale imitations of Tony's Cronies with the shadow of Thatcher still clouding any fresh image they might care to put forward. It might help, of course, if the new dynamic Tory Party held their conference anywhere other than Bournemouth. Not a very wise decision by the executives there, seeing as Bournemouth is synonymous with dotage and clapped out donkeys.

Not that it matters. Nobody wants the b*stards back in power anyhow. Some of us have long memories. We can still remember those dreadful years when the unions were crushed for failing to submit to government pressure, when socialism died beneath the oppressive boots of totalitarianism, when the utilities were lifted from the public sector and handed to quangos, the fat cats and the members of the aristocracy.

Hold on a minute...that was last week, wasn't it?

THE BRITISH GOVERNMENT WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGISE FOR THE LACK OF INTERUPTION TO RIGHT WING POLICIES OVER THE LAST TWENTY YEARS.

Normal variegated politics will be resumed as soon Uncle Tony has finished auditing the rest of the world.