Highly Personal Rant of the Week.
Insurance companies ... you've got to love them.
RACV, a large insurance company to which I pay large amounts of money prides itself on its "paperless claims process".
I had cause to impose on their benevolence and make such a claim. Jason who took details of my claim told me that Carol would be my "case manager" and he would transfer me immediately to the said Carol to process said claim.
"Hello I'm Kathy, can I help you?"
"You aren't Carol then?"
"No Carol isn't in at the moment."
I related details of my claim to the ersatz Carol. I had the feeling that Kathy didn't quite know what I was talking about. Fancy not having confidence in a 15 year old work experience lass press ganged into a call centre! Later in the day I rang back to prosecute my case and to allay my mounting trepidation.
"Hello, I'm Narelle can I help you?"
"So you aren't Carol either?"
"No, Carol is on leave."
"How long has she been on leave?"
"Over a week."
Jason had placed my claim in the hands of someone who had already been on leave for a week and was not due to return for another fortnight. A titanically sinking feeling was filling my gumboots.
Foolishly I soldiered on, repeating the details. Then having lighted the blue touch claim I retired to the neutral corner, reached for the smelling salts.
Some days elapsed. I hoped Carol was enjoying her holidays and was having her knickers pleasurably removed on a regular basis.
As no communication had transpired for 4 days I rang back.
"Hello, this is Janine can I help you?"
"So this is still not my personally appointed case manager Carol?"
"No, Carol is still on holidays, and will be for a few weeks more."
"O.K. then, at what stage is my claim at?"
"Has "Acme Insurance Assessors" contacted you yet?"
"No."
"Oh, they should have, I will transfer you across to them right now"
"Hello this is Acme Insurance Assessors how can we help you?"
Conversation ensued during which Acme informed me that they had not received anything from the insurance company.
Bloody hell! If Carol wasn't swanning about the Bahamas half pissed, being bonked within an inch of her life I'm sure none of this would have happened!
Time passes. The assessors arrive, do what they do and depart. Some days later the assessors ring. All is hunkydory, their report has been forwarded to the insurance company and I could expect payment within 5-10 working days.
10 working days pass. Payment is less than palpable.
Ah, Carol should be back at the helm, incandescant with wall to wall post coital glow. All will be well with the World.
"Hello, this is Brianna."
OH SHIT!
I give my case number to the delightful Brianna, who then told me that they have yet to receive any paperwork from Acme Insurance Assessors.
Hang up, ring Mr. Acme. Mr Acme tells me that details had been forwarded 3 weeks ago, but will fax them across again tout suite.
That is where it presently stands. I may post further details later, but right now I have to go out to purchase a semi automatic and a pack of tarot cards and take up position outside the RACV insurance offices.
