The countdown is on, the World holds its breath, the U.N. meets amid crisis ... the verdict on Shane Warne is only hours away. (About the drugs thing ... not whether he's a gross, two planks in excess of thickness prat. That's a given.)

UPDATE: "Shane Warne has been banned for 12 months by the Australian Cricket Board (ACB) after testing positive to a banned substance." O.K. everybody can go to bed now. I have appealed against the lightness of the sentence, and suggested that random amputations of his body parts might have been more in order.

UPDATE: Bugger, he's going to appeal against the decision. Everyone back up out of bed! It's going to be a long day's journey into night. Not sure how long I can stay rivetted.

In recognition of the stance taken by the opportunistic, arrogant fine, morally upstanding French nation, parts of "The Rant of the Week" are now available in the language of diplomacy.

The VERY undiplomatic version of The Rant of the Week can be found here ... wassit they say ... "not fecking worksafe at any speed". Mind you, the time it takes to do its thing you will have left work and be knocking down a Horlicks and rum before turning in for the night.