There was a backlash today from Pro-War Americans against the Hollywood Rebels who have decided to speak out against the slaughter of innocent people Iraq Crisis. The pacifist stance of numerous actors and actresses is considered by many as unpatriotic. Several well known American celebrities (such as Susan Sarandan and that bloke who plays the president in the West Wing...Martin Sheen or whatever his name is) have received death threats and the television/film executives are compiling a black list to make sure that they never work in the industry again.

So it's not all bad news then.

Mind you, it doesn't say much for the much beloved American freedom of speech. Can't help wondering exactly what it is that George Bush thinks he's protecting.

Meanwhile a British man on a skiing holiday in America lost control on the piste yesterday (insert humorous drinking gag here) and careered into a fellow skier killing him outright. The Brit has been charged with first degree manslaughter and could face a six year prison sentence. Amazing really when you consider that the Brits killed by American 'friendly' fire during Gulf War I still haven't been brought to justice, but that's America for you. Come to think of it shouldn't Bush and Blair have to stand trial after the war for the manslaughter of hundreds of thousands of innocent Iraqi bystanders? (Hah! If only the world would work like that, eh? Perhaps the phrase 'collateral damage' wouldn't be brandished about so flippantly by the ignorant chimp.)

In Britain Andrew Lloyd Webber (The man with the world's first reversable face) has revealed plans for his latest musical extravangaza. "Bush and Blair: A Love Story." So far only the opening scene has been written in which the hero and heroine, Tony and Georgette, are found in a compromising situation, Tony singing: "Rebels to the left of me, rallies to the right. Here I am stuck in the middle with you."

Breaking news: Andrew Lloyd Webber has just been shot in the mouth. Unfortunately, said Mr Berwick Honeydew von Strassburg, Britain's leading plastic surgeon, Webber's looks haven't been affected.