The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bush...
He went out tiger hunting with his elephant and gun. In case of accidents he always took his mum. He's the all-American, bullet-headed, Saxon mother's son.
The children asked him if to kill was not a sin. "Not when he looked so fierce," his mummy butted in. "If looks could kill it would have been us instead of him."
Lyrics by John Lennon and Paul McCartney Copyright 1968)
Shortly after September the eleventh newsreaders started referring to the date as: "The Day that Changed the World."
Well, it certainly did for the average American. Not only did it make New York a bit shorter but it also opened up America's eyes to the fact that it couldn't keep behaving like a playground bully.
Unfortunately George Bush didn't much enjoy having his underpants pulled down in public. Still filled with indignation, one year later he continues to grow increasingly hawkish, drawing ever closer to becoming a totalitarian dictator. With this in mind I had planned on quoting from George Orwell's "1984" tonight. The bit where Winston Smith is standing in the market square and all the people are chanting, "War with the eastern Block" (or whatever it was) to the accompaniment of a speaker. Halfway through the chant, the speaker changes the continent and nobody seems to notice, their own chants changing along with it.
Unfortunately somebody's borrowed my George Orwell Omnibus and not returned it. Which, although typical, is a total ball-ache.
So, instead, here's a quote from "The Once and Future King" by T. H. White:
"You must remember I am the King of England. When you are king you can't go executing people as the fancy takes you. A king is the head of his people and he must stand as an example to them and do as they wish."
He forgave the startled expression in Lancelot's face and took his hand once more.
"You will find," he explained, "that when kings are bullies who believe in force, the people are bullies too. If I don't stand for law, I won't have law among my people."
Now, I'm fully aware that George Bush wouldn't understand the point I'm trying to make here. He wouldn't even know what the "Once and Future King" was unless Disney decided to make a follow up. In fact he probably doesn't even know what a book is, apart from it being something with which to swat flies. All those scribbly lines with loops and dangly bits are very confusing, I must admit.
However, in the interests of World Security, he might understand this:
BUGGER OFF AND SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST YOU SICK LITTLE TURD OF A MAN!
Other news and today Prince Charles, still recovering from the controversy of sending letters to Tony Blair in support of the Countryside Alliance, visited Cerne Abbas. The locals turned out in force to greet him, one of his admirers declaring openly that, "Prince Charles is definitely a country person." Well...she was partially correct. When asked why he'd chosen Cerne Abbas as a place to go walkabout, Charles is said to have replied, "It makes a change to go somewhere where I'm not the biggest dick for miles around."
