The Venerable Sage of Unyan
Dispenser of Wisdoms and Sayer of Sooths to the Masses

Upon hearing of the waywardness of fourteen year olds the Venerable Unyan doth say – bring back the punishment that is corporal for it is the only language the little bastards do understandeth.

Upon hearing of the woes of Mr. Nasser Hussein, his Sovereign Overlords and his serfs the Venerable Unyan doth say – taketh not thy bats of willow, thy stumps, thy leather clad balls, thy raiment of white and goeth not into the land of the demon Mugabe and you will truly be blessed with the riches of heaven if not on Earth. Defy your God, Tony the Virtuous, who sitteth at the Right Hand of the Blessed Dubya, and feel the awesomeness of his wrath; at least until the next eleven days shall come to pass by which time the stench of outrage rising from the Street of Shame will have probably blowneth over.

Upon hearing of the greatly prophesied accidental scattering of unholy genes infesting the pure growing places of the Earth where they shouldst not go the Venerable Unyan doth say – fucketh not with the true nature of things lest they, in turn, fucketh you!