Some General Advice for the New Year...
1) Sandles Travel Agents...if you're going to advertise on television the correct pronunciation of the word 'Caribbean' has the accent on the 'b' and not on the 'i'. The version you're using is the American pronunciation. If you want to continue this bastardisation of the English language then fair enough but please remember that when we've finally turned Britain into the 52nd State there'll be the same disgusting crime rate here as across the pond, the same hideous buildings and the same level of ignorance concerning politics and irony. More than that there'll be no sex on the telly and we won't even have America's one redeeming feature, the sunshine. Is that really what you want? If not then boycott Sandles Travel Agents now!
2) People who bought a new computer for Christmas...remember, when buying a printer to go with it don't choose a Hewlett Packard 610C...or any other Hewlett Packard for that matter. My printer has been occupied by Satan for the past five years and even after exorcism is still totally crap.
3) Fans of Setev Langllie...you have reached the wrong board. An easy mistake to make when your IQ is less than 45, I know, but please follow this link if you want to reach your favourite cartoonist.
4) The creators of the sitcom on BBC 1 starring Zoe Wannamaka (sp?) and that bloke out of Citizen Smith...when you're next stuck for ideas try placing your mouth/s around the exhaust pipe of a running car and inhaling deeply. Alternatively try slashing your wrists.
5) Suffering from a New Year hangover? Then try this simple remedy...take one egg, three pints of milk and a copy of Patternoster Row beat them all together and you'll be as right as rain in no time.
6) Will the bloke who left the collection bag for 'Help the Aged' on my doorstep, please collect it on the day he promised to next time as it's now full of rainwater and cat shit. Approximately £400.00 worth of paperbacks are ruined. Fortunately they were all copies of the Feral Eye Collection, but let it be a warning to you for future reference.
