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"I bought one of these for my mum and when she rubbed it on her leg her variouscose veins vanished. So did all the money what she had stashed away in the biscuit tin."
Beryl Plunkett. Shropshire.
"I placed one of these under our mattress and our sex life hasn't been better."
Robin Larrdharse. Calforlornia.
"If you look closely I believe you can see the face of the Lord on this organ."
K*vin Starbucks. USA.
"My Gran laughed at me when I told her that it had special powers and she got hit by a number 9 bus."
Name withheld. Kalgoorlie.
"I found one of these terrifying kitsch WMDs secreted in Saddam's Garfield underpants. For these breeches alone he should be unpersoned. Garfield underpants? ... GROSS!"
Hans Neezen Blixadaisy.
Orders for this item and enquiries about upcoming items for Xmas can be forwarded to:-
4 Jones Grove,
Fleetwood, Lancashire
England FY7 6ES
Hurry, don't miss out! There is a limited amount of Brian Hughes left that can be chopped off under "The NHS Holy Relics and Extreme Body Modification Programme".
Get Well cards can be forwarded to the same address.
(No Gary Larson Get Well cards by request. Brian has already copied all the good ones in that range.)
