Tony Blair's response to Cook

Staff and agencies
Monday March 17, 2003

Dear Robin,

Thank you for your letter confirming your wish to desert a sinking shrinking ship resign from the cabinet.

You have been a good friend and colleague over many years. I fondly remember those days when I gather we were both members of the same Party. I have ensured that your stay in the Tower will be both comfortable and short (frigging bitch!) brief. I have valued your addle brained advice and mindless appeals to morality and due process during this difficult time as I juggle my roles as leader of the New Tories, Vice President at Large and Ink Monitor.

I sincerely hope you will forgive me for replacing the "Ann Boleyn Memorial Deboncing Axe" with an "Acme Let them Eat Gateaux Guillotine", but I believe a message has to be sent to the backbencherssliders infected with Mad Gallic Disease.

Your sincerely, and may you rot in Hell,

Tony.