The impact of Uncle Brian's column: "Helping Couples Find Love and Romance in a Competitive Market!" has been outstanding. As a "Rant of the Week" community service, a team of 342 translators has been working around the biological clock to render the column in French. (Since the posting of Unle Brian's Column the reputation of French as "the romantic language" has been under seige.) Such is the success of Uncle Brian's column that the Brits have knocked the French into a cocked chapeau in the art of seduction stakes. Seven of Jacque Chirac's mistresses have be sighted in the Chunnel travelling at break neck speed (haven't they learned the lesson of Henri Paul?!) to plonk their pretty petite booties on stools at "The Hair and Hoons" pub to await the "come hither -or round the back of the bike shed will do- looks" of Uncle Brian's reconstructed post-modernist British Lotharios.

Translated page for our Gallic cousins.

Newsflash.

It has come to our attention that in response to the publishing of the French version, a retranslation of this page has been floating around the Web in an effort to subvert Uncle Brian's altruistic efforts. -------- Batardes!