DESERT FARMING. |
Australia is one of the ten driest continents on one of the most arid planets in the entire solar system and water is naturally a constant concern for those of us trying to make a living from the land.
Australia is an urban society, with most people clinging to the coastline, partly to escape dust storm debris coating the gardenias, and the stench of bush fires and rotting carcases, but mainly to be ready to fire pot shots at boat people. City folk simply don’t understand how tough it is in the bush.
I’ve been farming the Great Sandy Desert for the past 30 years. I am a rice grower, and I am bloody good at it, but for reasons completely outside my control, I am yet to turn a profit.
The problem is lack of rain. To get the paddy fields viable I need at least 50 mm a day. I’ve been averaging just 2mm a year and it’s not nearly enough. My reaping and threshing operations are world’s best practice but I have been unable to plant any seeds up to this point.
Your typical Asian loves rice and I could shift it by the truckload if this cursed drought would only give me a chance.
Luckily whenever you shout cry “Drought’ in a public place politicians and media personalities rush you with buckets of money. I have made millions buying cheap property in the desert and not growing rice on it. I am very proud that I own the largest rice field in the world and, thanks to Channel Nine and Alan Jones, one of the most profitable.
So I’m diversifying. Look out for Slamming Sam free-range quail, which I plan not to produce in a Collins Street office block.
You know it makes sense.
I’m Sam Kekovich.
