POSH KIDNAP FOILED SHOCK

Lady Posh of Muck was today being consoled after police revealed a plot to keep her out of the headlines (don’t you mean revealed a plot to kidnap her? – Ed.).
Sources close to Lady Posh revealed that she was distraught that the kidnappers were caught at a time when the story would be starved of column inches by some obscure people’s princess who had been dead for five years.
She is being comforted by family and friends after the media failed to beat a path to her door waving large wads of cash and cheque books.