Okely dokely folks let's lighten up the day with this lovely send up of the Nigerian email scams. (From Scamorama )
--Greetings--
Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Sven Svensegaard. Now, I know vat you're tinkin: "I don't know no Sven Svensegaard! Oh, I know some Svens fer sure, and maybe even some Svensegaards, but nobody name of Sven Svensegaard." Vell, now you do. I'm da oldest son of Ole Svensegaard, an' Ole owned the biggest doggone lutefisk processin' plant in Norvay, by golly!
Vell, Ole took sick one day, and on his deathbed he revealed to me, Sven Svensegaard, dat he had stashed avay $35,000,000 (US) in a secret Sviss bank account. Dat money vas to be used for eqvipment to upgrade da somewhat ramshackle lutefisk processin' plant, but Ole, he didn't vant to pay da import duties on da machinery. He said, "Da Svensegaard Lutefisk Processin' Plant didn't get to be da Svensegaard Lutefisk Processin' Plant by payin' 20% to da government on its new lutefisk processin' plant eqvipment. Don't tread on me, by golly!" And den he died.
Vell, now, here's my dilemma. I got dis somewhat ramshackle lutefisk processing plant in Norvay. And I got dis account number and passvord for a Sviss Bank Account wit $35,000,000 US in it. Da problem is dat lutefisk consumption in Norvay has been steadily declinin' over da years and, as much as I love lutefisk (in fact, I'm nibblin' on some right now), I'm not sure upgradin' da Svensegaard Lutefisk Processing Plant is da best vay to spend dat money. Den da odder problem is dat the Sviss don't trust the Norvegians so good.
So I got to tinkin', and den talkin' vid my brodders Lars Svensegaard an' Ole Svensegaard, and den ve tree vas tinkin', by golly, vat if ve had an American partner to provide the Sviss bank vit da account number and da passvord, and den dey vould vire da $35,000,000 US to an account at a bank in da United States. I vas tinkin', you do dis fer me and Lars and Ole, an' you could keep 20% of da boodle. Dat's $7,000,000 for doin' hardly nottin', by golly. Preddy good deal, you betcha!
So, all you gotta do is reply to dis here message and give me your telephone and fax numbers. Probly also your bank account number and routing instructions.
No risk to you, by golly. Dis deal is gonna go down like lutefisk vit melted butter.
Ya shure, you betcha.
Sven Svensegaard