Following a complaint today by Miss Carol Porter (l*sbian, winner of the 2001 Dwarf Throwing Contest and recently re-instated Blackpool Librarian) that she couldn't access this board through her usual channels (exactly what this board has to do with stacking books I've no idea, but mine is not to reason why) I shall have to censor, to the best of my abilities, any further rants. Apparently the 'Child Safety' program on the library hard-drive prohibits access to 'unfriendly material'. Naturally the mention of Ann W*ddecombe has overstepped these boundaries.
It had been my intention today to argue against the Countryside Alliance and their condescending views that fox-hunting is no worse than eating meat. I had intended to point out that when I buy a steak and onion pie I do not rip one end off and smear the gravy across my face, revelling in the slaughter of innocents purely for the sheer enjoyment of killing. I'd also wanted to say that murdering for fun is symptomatic of developing serial killers and, following the logic of George W. Bush, such obvious threats to the security of peace-loving people should be propped up and shot with the very latest in allied weapons.
Unfortunately, due to the fact that I would have proliferated my diatribe with expletives (that is...words that offend and/or refute Christian opinion) Carol would not have been able to spend her dinner-hour leaving insults at the bottom of this page. (Oddly enough, photographs of child abuse, donkey sex and mangled bodies would not have affected the 'censorship program'...but I guess that most hardcore Christians indulge themselves in such exotic behaviours anyway.)
Therefore, the only thing I can actually say with regards to the Countryside Alliance and/or the creators of the child-safe library internet system is, "Tally-Ho you funking cucks!"
Carol...I hope you're happy now. Birthday Saturday! Bring a bottle and a bird, but leave the midget at home.
Postscript re The Internet Watch Foundation and thinkofthechildren.co.uk
