Earlier today I took the entrance exam for the England Eleven. I span an attempted googlie, took out two panes in the long room and bowled the char-lady into a coma. Five minutes ago I received an e-mail from Michael Afferton confirming that I didn't make the team. Apparently I'm over-qualified. Back to the drawing board/word processor then.

"Row! Row until your hearts crack and your backs break!"

(Where would Christmas be without Jason and the Agonauts, eh?)