HEADLINE MAKERS CHRISTMAS WISH LIST

Tony Blair: Bomb Baghdad II: Scram Saddam for BattleStation 2.
Ian Duncan Smith: Charisma Transplant.
Cherie Booth QC: Paul Dacre’s balls in a vice.
Raj & Shahana Hashmi: Pro-life campaigner and professional busybody Josephine Quintavalle run over by a bus.
George “Dubya” Bush: To triple his IQ to 12.
Sven Goran Eriksson: That Nancy would do a “Samantha” and run off with Ulrika.
Dr. Hans Blix: For Saddam to tell him whether he is getting warmer or colder.
Jacques Chirac: Tony Blair to drown in a pool of his own arrogance.
Colin Powell: To be able to finally pronounce his first name correctly.
Victims of Burglary: To see Lord Justice Woolf’s wig crammed down his throat.
Osama Bin Laden: For Dubya to be buggered by an anthrax infected camel.