QUEEN TELLS CHARLES: GIVE UP HUNTING
By Harry Arnold
THE Queen has ordered Prince Charles to give up hunting to avoid damaging the monarchy.
(Don't do it Charles, keep shooting ... but don't just damage them ... a single shot anywhere between their beady blue blooded eyes and receding chin line is usually sufficiently fatal.)
She has also said she wants Charles's partner Camilla Parker Bowles and sons William and Harry to quit the blood sport, even if the Government introduces only a partial hunt ban.
(Correct me if I am wrong, but I believe that the Government specifically exempts the hunting of Camillas, Harrys and Williams from the hunt ban under clause 293a - the Eradication of Vermin.)
A senior courtier said: "She believes that continuing to hunt when most MPs and the nation abhor it, is a step too far. It could bring the Royal Family into disrepute.
(Au cointreau Marm, huntin' and shootin' of those pointy nosed, bushy tailed, faggoty butlers would see an end to the besmirching of the windsorial escutcheon.)
The prince courts disaster for his reputation if he overrides the will of the people."
(Disaster for his WHAT?! and which particular "will of the people" elected Big Ears to Office?)
I look forward to Marm prosecuting this cause with her usual dedication to duty and I await the spectacle of Marm throwing herself in front of the field in this year's Ascot Gold Cup. (Much like her dear departed mother did to have the 1846 Cup declared a "No Race" when the horse on which she has her last 2 knickers was toiling 15 lengths behind the 2nd last horse.)
