THE RANT OF THE WEEK BREAKING NEWS.
Kenya's opposition set for win.
English cricket team forced to follow on.
Jobless Americans lose benefits.
"NEARLY one million jobless US workers have lost their unemployment payments just three days after Christmas because the US Congress failed to approve a benefits extension before taking its holiday recess."
Why don't they just use their American Express Gold Cards like everyone else? Parasites!
Bush sets 2003 agenda.
The President did not mention the most conspicuous failure of the anti-terror campaign, the failure to date to capture Osama bin Laden, leader of the al-Qaeda network.
However he revealed that authorities have 3 Napoleons, 5 William the Conquerors and 1 Joan of Arc in custody. "Full confessions are only a matter of time", he assured the nation.
TV cooks have 'bad hygiene'.
According to Britain's Chartered Institute of Environmental Health, Oliver tends to spray saliva over ingredients as he speaks. Gary Hunter, a lecturer at Westminster College, London, where Jamie Oliver studied, defended his approach.
"These programs are just for entertainment value -- they're not supposed to be educational," Mr Hunter said.
Fails on 2 counts then. This is a gibbet we prepared earlier.
Restaurants 'feed' tigers - to patrons.
ONE hundred rare Bengal tigers donated by Thailand to China for conservation have arrived amid an uproar over media reports they will be bred instead as meat for Chinese restaurants.
Officially, the tigers, which arrived via jumbo jet on Christmas Day on the southern island of Hainan, were contributed by a Thai zoo for a Sino-Thai research program and possible reintroduction into a Chinese nature reserve.
I can confirm this to be true. I have visited the "Happy Chopsticks Red Dragon Golden Lantern Takeaway Nature Reserve" and only 'Sweet and Sour Giant Panda' and 'Lemon Northern Hairy-nosed Wombat" were listed on the Endangered Specials Menu.
