Britain reserves right to attack Iraq: Blair.

The British Prime Minister, Tony Blair, says he has no doubt Iraq has weapons of mass destruction and the full capacity to use them.

And the weapons inspectors will find them. Should be pretty bloody easy. They have "Made in Britain" or "Product of the USA" on them.

Mr Blair is still facing questioning by House of Commons Committee, mainly on the topic of Iraq.

Tony will exercise his right to "phone a friend" on the tricky ones. "I would like to call my friend George in Washington. He's a bit of an expert on puppet regimes gone feral."

He says Saddam Hussein certainly has biological and chemical weapons and is attempting to rebuild a nuclear capability.

The line from the film with that Meg Ryan sheila says it all, "I'll have what he's not having".

He says Britain would reserve the right to attack Iraq if there was a veto for a second resolution in the United Nations Security Council.

How dare these pricks exercise their right to veto, that's not we're paying them for! The England Cricket team is itching to have a crack at Saddam's Imperial Guards Eleven. "Their SCUDS will be no match for our GOOGLIES, BOUNCERS and YORKERS", proclaimed a confident Nassar Hussain. (Hey, that's a suss name for a bloke going into bat for the free world!)

The British leader acknowledges many people are against the war but believes he can turn public opinion around ahead of any conflict.

"On the advice of my wife I have employed Mr. Peter Foster to head a witch hunt an inquiry into the misguided people who are against this just crusade. He will be collecting the names and addresses of these raghead loving, anti British, traitorous, AIDS spreading, child molesting bastards who will then either be sent to re-education camps or be provided with a free frontal lobotomy for life courtesy of the recently upgraded 5 chairs-no-waiting NHS."

But you British lot can let Tony know he's dead wrong.

Mr Blair also defended his close alliance with President George W Bush, saying it would not be fair for the United States to have to face these issues alone.

The Prime Minister has been reinforced in his view by the profound advice offered by his senior foreign policy advisor Dame Tammy Wynette, "Stand by your man. Some times it's hard to be a dog givin' all your love to just one man. You'll have sad times and he'll have good times, doin' things that you don't understand. But if you love him you'll forgive him even though he's hard to understand. And if you love him, aww, be proud of him cuz after all he's just a poodle fancier."