An extract from the 'Diary of A Feminist'. January 15th 2003:
Led an "All Lesbian Single Mother Anti-male Peace March" through Southport to campaign against the chauvinists intent on plunging women into war this weekend. As women we're sick of patching ignorant male soldiers back together. The wages are appalling. Did you know that a male surgeon earns twice as much as a female toilet cleaner? Testosterone-empowered bastards!

"Women Against Nuclear Campaigns" (or W.A.N.C. for short) the group was called. I thought the name up. And I designed most of the placards as well. Dildos linked in 'Peaceful Harmony'. Unfortunately the police confiscated most of them before we started, for being too pornographic. They said they were inciting a 'race riot' because the black penises were smaller than the white ones. Cretinous idiots! I'm just not very good at drawing that's all and I ran out of room on the right hand side.

Anyhow, we gathered at "Patel's Novelty Souvenir Emporium" armed with leeks, carrots and reunified South African lentils. Then we headed towards the prom, removing our clothes on route. We were jeered by fascist male bigots with their arse-cracks on display as we passed a building site. One of them told us to, "Get our kits back on for the lads..." When we tried to explain what we were doing the overweight monster went on, "Jesus...at least put your tits away, Love. Y' could tuck them things into your socks if you were wearin' any." I explained that bras were symbolic of the restraints on women's liberties. He said, "I don't care nothing about that, but you're frightening some o' the boys. They think you're threatenin' them with snooker balls in socks."

Then some other chauvinist git called out, "'Ere...I reckon you lot could prevent a war for all that. If Saddam saw you bunch o' fat cows comin' in the nuddy like that 'ee'd run for the 'ills. Y' wouldn't see 'im for dust!" Bloody men! They think with their penises and fuck with their brains. Er...or something.
Later we had a run-in with the Fleetwood Over 60's club who were down for the annual Inter-county Beetle Drive. They said we'd made Elsie Bagshaw sick and some seagull had tried to peck the carrots from her vomit and given her a heart attack. Naturally a riot broke out. Those biddies are vicious. They kept battering us with their Zimmer frames and we were only saved from hospitalisation by the intervention of the police. Our case comes up on Tuesday. Until then we're filing formal complaints against police brutality with the Home Secretary. Not that he'll listen...he's a male bastard, although his blindness is to be taken into consideration.

Editor's note: If you are going on one of the hundreds of anti-war rallies around the world this weekend then here's hoping you have more success than Brenda! Power to your elbow and all that!