According to the Daily Mail (that paragon of virtuosity and social ethics) following the closure and subsequent bulldozing of the Sangatte Refugee Camp in France, the Red Cross have established their own Refugee Camp on the exact same site. Previously Sangatte housed 50,000 refugees who were desperate to clamber into Britain. And who could blame them? If I lived in France I'd want to escape as well. The constant storm trooping of refugees through the Chunnel led the British Government to take decisive action and, in return for the camp's closure and demolition, took 12,000 none-Daily-Mail-readers from the Froggies' bosoms and into our own.

Naturally, this morning, the Daily Mail was outraged to report that the Red Cross had established another refugee camp on the still smouldering rubble of what was once Sangatte. Thousands, possibly millions, more refugees to flood our shores, steal our jobs, spend our benefits, rape our women, eat our children and poke their nasty brown fingers at our sheep.

As it turns out, the Daily Mail was talking bollocks.

The 'Refugees-on-wheels' Camp that their diligent reporters had actually witnessed was just a Red Cross Soup Kitchen making its usual tour of the homeless during the winter months.

This sort of shite and sensationalist drivel has become the norm for the Mail who, presumably, employed the same 'bullshit' tactics when it came to proclaiming that they'd be giving away £20,000.00 for the 'Not the Turner Prize'...going so far as giving out an e-mail address to send any figure illustrations to. Since sending them several examples and waiting patiently for my mortgage to suddenly vanish, I haven't heard a single word in response but my daily Spam levels have risen dramatically.

Long live the freedom of the tabloid press. The freedom to pursue innocent victims, to stir up trouble amongst ignorant council-estaters, to worship the Royals and, most of all, to invent and then publish total codswallop that isn't even remotely true in the cause of racism.