In a bizarre twist of fate Queen Elizabeth the Second, head of the Sax Coburgh's and official ringleader of the British/German far-right supremacist party, has kicked the bucket. What began as a broken leg sustained through a minor accident before Christmas, as reported widely by newspapers yesterday, grew overnight into a Grand Death experience.
Prince Charles was at her bedside making a documentary about his difficult life at the time of the shuffling.
"It was very difficult," he told the eager camera crew. "Producing tears without motivation like that. Those actor chappies must be very skilful. The truth is, I barely knew the woman. The only time I ever spoke to her was when all the other cabbages had been harvested."
Seven French photographers were arrested and a roll of film believed to contain images of the Queen's evil soul departing through her rectum were confiscated by Uncle Blair and stashed in John Prescott's underpants.
"It whasn't an easy decision to make," confessed the Duke of Edinburgh at a mournful press conference of arse-licking toadies and politicians this morning. "Bat the poor old cow caddent walk properly so whe had ta shoot har through tha head."
Oh...hold on...wait a moment. That was what happened to Princess Diana, wasn't it?
My mistake, folks. Take the bunting down...the reign of evil isn't over yet.
