The British Government today has brought in new legislation regarding Customs procedures. In particular changes have been made regarding the clamp down on illegal tobacco smuggling. The amount of tobacco now allowed to be brought back into Britain for 'personal use' has been increased by five cigarettes per tourist or something, thus freeing up valuable customs officers so that they can target the 'evil bastards' who smuggle vast quantities of French tobacco into the country because it's considerably cheaper.

According to Anna Ford on the BBC news this 'back-down' on previous policy must be good news for smokers. Er...why exactly you stupid cow? It might be good news if you happen to live in the south of England. Exactly how it benefits us poor bastards in the north who still have to pay through the nose for a packet of cigarettes I've no idea.

Time was when I used to smoke Silk Cut Extra Mild. They were the equivalent of smoking fresh air but with all the benefits to a serial smoker such as myself as having a normal packet of fags. (Go on Americans...I said the word 'fags'...laugh your tiny bollocks off. I'm glad it amuses you...especially seeing as you can't even decide which side of a woman the fanny is situated.) These days however, due to the fact that twenty Silk Cut Extra Mild costs over £4.00 I'm reduced to smoking roll-ups that contain approximately 400 times the amount of tar and nicotine instead. Even worse than that, due to the inordinate amount of tax on normal cigarettes, towards the end of each financial month I'm reduced to re-rolling the dimps of previously smoked roll-ups that are even higher in tar and shit.

In my opinion it's about time that the government actually gave a flying fuck about our health instead of the exchequer coffers. They should remove tax from cigarettes, especially low tar ones, to encourage better smoking practices. But then again we're all going to die young anyway because of their prudish, totalitarian fucking attitude. May their rancid livers burst from tax-reduced alcohol poisoning and their wayward genitals rot from the syphilis of the unregulated whores that ply their trade around the Houses of Parliament.