Following the BBC's policy last week not to name the late John Leslie as Ulrika Johnson's alleged rapist, this week I personally refuse to name and shame ***** ******, the now ex-presenter of 'Have I Got News For You'. I don't want thousands of mindless fans of the third-rate-John-Cleese-rip-off treading these boards in search of the names of the prostitutes he shagged.

***** ****** isn't the only talentless cretin that the BBC ought to sack from the show. Spud-U-Like, stuck-up, smug little shithead I*n H*slop ought to get the chop as well. (Me? Bitter? Just because the stunted little twat, after claiming himself to be an authority on cartoons, turned down Scrag Ends for his boring little bog-roll of a magazine? Shurely Shome Mishtake...)

Further more the BBC ought to sack the bastards responsible for the 'Great Britons - calls cost 25 pence per minute to vote' contest, for allowing Princess Diana to be in the top ten. The greatest philanthropist that Britain's ever known? Elizabeth Fry, William Wilberforce, Lord Shaftsbury, Florence Nightingale...all pissed off the side of the great urinal of humanity by the ultimate (bar-Ulrika) self-publicist of the twentieth century.

Even more disturbing is the fact that, apparently, Dearly-deceased Di is currently topping the aforementioned polls.

Even even more disturbing...the majority of those voting for her are women.

Germane Greer must be turning in her boudoir. Still, at least she ought to be happy that in this egalitarian age women can prove themselves to be just as moronic as their male counterparts. That's feminism for you.

When I was a kid women always used to say, "If a woman was in charge then the world wouldn't be in a such a mess."

Then Thatcher happened.

Funny...but you don't hear that phrase being bandied about so much nowadays.

Ian Hislop showing his anger at Deayton's dismissal.