Excuse Me Ma'am!

Oh yes...this is a pearler! The trial of Paul Burrell, Princess Diana's former butler who stands...or rather stood...accused of stealing numerous items belonging to her royal deadness, reached an unprecedented halt today. The trial was suspended just hours before Mr Burrell was due to take the stand and give his own side to the story. And the reason for it's sudden ending? The intervention of the Queen!

Exactly why the Queen suddenly announced that it had all been a mistake and she'd known about Mr Burrell's 'safe storing of the items' from the outset is a mystery. The fact that her intervention earlier in the trial would have saved the tax-payer one and a half million pounds and Mr Burrell a lot of emotional hardship is also a mystery.

What exactly was Paul Burrell about to say on the stand? Was the Queen being blackmailed? If this unconventional act, shrouded in ambiguity as it was, was the lesser of two evils then what exactly was the alternative?

Already journalists the length and breadth of Britain are frantically trying to discover exactly what's going on.

Which probably spells bad news.

In times of constitutional crisis, when the media is doing everything in its power to topple the monarchy and, as Sedgwick would say, foist it on its own pertard, any good, royalist Prime Minister will realise that the only way of stopping them is by creating some enormous disaster to steal the headlines.

And this one's going to have to be big.

The trial might have ended suddenly but justice has yet to be served.

Deputy editor notes this amazing pronouncement.

Professor, Lord Philip Norton, an expert on constitutions, said: "I don't think it is feasible or legally possible for the Queen to appear before a court. The rule is that the Queen is above the law, it is her law."

Well bugger me dead good Lord Norton, if it's her law she can shove it up her right royal sphincter. One law for the rich and one for the poor and they're both owned by HRH. Exercising of the Royal Purgative? Not on your Nelly, I call it the perverting of justice ... and of course she's ideally placed to do just that, the House of Windsor is chocker with them.