"We can't have refugees taking over the country..." (Well that's understandable. Australia's only a small place and it's really overcrowded as it is.)

Jesus bloody friggin' Christ, no wonder I get so pissed off when I see nonsense like that from bloody whinging cricket challenged, sexless, cuisineless, namby pamby, arty farty. hoity toity, plastic bag rooting ignorant poms who know bugger all about this great brown land.

Let me set you straight you young friggin' pig ignorant whippersnapper. Byron, I think is the name of the particular pile of dingo dung who mouthed off here.

For your friggin' information Australia (stand up and salute when you hear that name you long haired friggin' pinko layabout) is a friggin' big country BUT only a small part of it is habitable. We dinkum God fearing white Australians live in a small part of the continent. The green bits on the coast where you can get a truck load of bricks and corrugated iron, set up a barbie, knock up a hard working sheila down the local rubbity and call it your castle. The rest of the country is as dry as a dead dingo's donger - totally uninhabitable desert. Spend a day there and you'd be a dead man. The place is littered with the bones of idiot pommy explorers and backpackers. There's nobody and nothing there apart from the half a dozen Aborigines that haven't yet died from alcoholism, TB, diabetes or other indigenous diseases they seem to have forgotten how to cure and those friggin' refugee camps you bloody dumb ponce.

If Alexander Downer let every friggin' refu-bloody-gee who wanted to swan down here and make our country his home, we'd be friggin overrun. Sure as bloody hell they wouldn't want to live in the Outback would they? No they'd be threatening to blow up our buildings, to rape our women and to steal our children to work in carpet factories if the Government didn't give them a free mansion, a car and a friggin' big social security cheque.

Don't tell me I don't know what I'm talking about! I'm friggin' old enough to have seen it all before. After World War 11 this place was overrun with Ities, Greeks, White friggin' Russians and Yugo-bloody-slavians. Yeah, World War 11, the one the friggin' Yanks said they won. Bullshit! They joined in at the bloody last minute when our bronzed Diggers all but had it in the bag anyway and only after they got pissed off when the Nips blew up Pearl Bailey. Those refugees have all but taken over this country so's that your average Aussie kiddies today wouldn't know a stew, a bowl of pea soup or a roast and three veggies from their arseholes. It's all bloody pizza, gyros and borscht wherever you look. The fair dinkum, ridgy didge Australian is a friggin' endangered species.

That's why Bruce (God rest his soul and his magnificent never flaccid donger) and me hightailed it here to Kalgoorlie where we started a captive breeding programme for the endangered native Australian. You can walk down any street of Kalgoorlie and you won't see one person who isn't 100% born and bred fair dinkum Australian. (Have to be a bit honest but, Sherrylin Smith is a bit of a doubtful quantity. Rumour has it that some wandering Swiss bloke might have had it away with Sherrylin's mother. She was evidently drawn to his distant yodelling and snuck out under the barbed wire and they went at it like mountain goats for a bit. Anyhow to be on the safe side we've had Sherrylin's tubes tied. That and her not being allowed out of the cupboard under the stairs where she lives without a bag over her head should stop any bloody hanky panky. We had to publicly stone her mother to death as an example to others and so as Sherrylin wouldn't have a bad role model.)

So there you are you great pommy git Byron. Alexander Downer has got it right and you can just keep your friggin' bloody great nose out of our affairs thank you very much. People in glass friggin' council estates shouldn't cast aspersions. From what I hear from the stringers I use for the "Kalgoolie Kronicle" your pathetic lilliputian squat of a country is overrun with "vindaloo hooligans" and friggin' Kraut royalty, and your armed forces couldn't light a fart in anger.