So, here is a man, who realy feels the mood of recent times.

And sorry, but now I have to go... I have a lot of to do.

These have to be weapons of mass destruction.

Secretly leaked follow up letter.

Dear Mr Hoossain,

As you, the big fatty boombah that you are, have not taken enny noters of my son Jorge's letter what he sent to you all last week this is gunna be your last chance. I right to you as "the mother of all primates", the "her indoors of all her indoors" and for the porpoise of this letter, the "She who must be obeyed of all she who must be obeyeds".

You now have no one to blame but youallself if my son unleashes his weapons of mass dysfunction on you and the whole Iroquois nation.

I have told Jorge not to take enny noters of what the Untied Nations inspectors do or say. We all know you have tons of stuff to wage comical warfare. We have seen from our secret satellite surveyllance all those photos and statues of you that have put up thinking that we would all die laughing at them. I can assure you that tactic WON'T werk. We Americans don't have a sense of humor. You can amuse some of the people some of the time and sum of the squares on the other two sides and some of my best friends are squares all of the time.

Bottom line, Jorge wants your shrivelled heathen knackers for bonsai paperweights.

Resistance is useless, all your goolies belong to U.S.

Yours in the name of God,



p.s. Yoo still smell, poo bum!!.

p.s.s.t There's a bounty on your gay moosetache, loser!

Rantworthy Quote of the Week.

"Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public mind."
General William Westmoreland

Are we really waiting for Dubbya to bomb Iraq? Don't think so.
But as this is probably "non-core", "we're not really angry yet" bombing, it doesn't really count.

"Here's a clue—if they say they're doing it in my name, they're lying." — God Source.

Here's the latest Scrag End to save you the trouble of having to trawl all the way over to my site to see it.

I have a slug that, every night, emerges from a hole in the skirting board behind my fridge before going slime-about around my kitchen.

Or rather I had a slug, because tonight I accidentally stepped on it. He'd become quite a character during my late-night forays for the whisky bottle so, naturally, I was very upset. Though God only knows why, other than the mess it made on the sole of my boot. After all he never did anything for me apart from leave fucking big slime trails all over the floor.

And then I realised that I'd been anthropomorphizing this gastropod.

I'd given it a character it didn't have, because slugs as a rule have a brain about the size of the average aristocrat. It was only a slug for Christ's sake! It wasn't sentient! It wasn't capable of rational thought! It was only after the breadcrumbs and a long slow shit in my frying pan.

Then I realised that I'd also been anthropomorphizing the starving Iraqis and the Afghanistan peasants, believing they had minds of their own and characters and human qualities when, at the end of the day, they're just Muslims.

Which is why I've had a change of heart and now I fully support George W. Bush and his latest change to the American constitution, namely to blow the shit out of any nation that might not like him regardless of whether its doing anything wrong or not.

It's a similar approach to slug pellets really.

Following this logic through I've set up a trip wire attached to a sub-machine gun outside my front door so that anybody walking past my house will trigger four hundred rounds of lead into their bodies. They might not actually be about to break into my house but then again they might. And I'm the one with the machine gun so let's see the bastards argue against my policy.

So far I've killed Mrs Althorpe from number eight, split the post woman completely in two and turned three children kicking a football around into the latest Damien Hurst exhibition. (Serves the annoying little bastards right.)

Make no mistake about this folks, we are going to war.

At this stage of the game Saddam Hussein could drop his trousers, part his buttocks and let Tony Blair and George Bush slip him a length, and we'd still end up blowing the crap out of him. Britain and America have new weapons that they want to show off and unless some other country (please God let it be France) decides to blow up a couple of buildings full of capitalist twats then it looks like Iraq is about to receive the shit end of the stick.

I don't care if you have to change the electoral system, stage a military coup or change the locks on the White House doors but, please America, get this retarded little cunt out of office and do the rest of the world a favour.