Friday, October 03, 2003

An offer pass up I just couldn't not avail myself to.

Dear Friend,

I know this mail may come to you as a surprise, I got your email address through the web while in search of who will carefully handle this urgent and hitchfree deal.

I am Ahmed Dangote am attorney at law. I practice with Unity Chambers and Co. 32A, Omole Close, Ikeja. Lagos. I have one of my clients who banked with Royal Trust (& Securities) Bank Limited (RTSBL) He is a foreigner base in Nigeria, unfotunately he is late. He died on a fatal plane crash 2 years ago. I am contacting you based on trust and confidentiality that will be attached to this deal. The Management and the Legal department of BANK (RTSBL) had a recent meeting recommended that the account of this my client will be declared dormant and confisticated, and to deposit the fund to the Bank Treasury according to Nigerian Banking and Financial law.

This said account of the decease Engr. Vincent Pillai hold the sum of Twenty Five million, Four hundred thousand united state dollars ($25.400,000.00). In fact it happened that since his death, nobody has come up to office to make claim of his belonging as a next of kin or to say he know anything about the him.

To cut the matter short, I could not contact any of the his relations because his home address could not trace. Basically, what I am request of you at this junction is for you to come in as the relation of the said deceased, I will give you the contact of the Bank, you will have to write to them, tell them that you are a relation to the deceased and that you have found out that Engr. Vincent Pillai has account with RTSBL which you want to lay claim through their legal authority. They are going to honour your request you. However, I will be the one to provide you the vital documents for you to lay claims of the money and also to enhance you a rightfull person to the decease.

Please include your telephone number when replying this mail and I will give you more information as soon as you indicate your willingness to assist in this transaction. After successful conclussion of this transaction we shall share the money 40/60%.
Probably, you can reply me through my private box:

Yours truly,

Ahmed Dangote

Thank you ballboys, thank you linesmen, thank you Ahmed. The cheque is in the email.

And in late breaking news (link courtesy of the very courteous Mr Yorkshiresoul) a fine investment for any spare cash you have left after Mr. Dangote has ratted your piggy bank can be found HERE.

ACME products. More than you ever wanted to know or buy.

Spot the difference.

"I have only one thing to say: You turn if you want to. The lady's not for turning!" - Margaret Thatcher at the party conference 1980

"Forward or back. I can only go one way. I've not got a reverse gear." - Tony Blatcher at the party conference 2003

We learn from history that we don't learn from history #237.

Found this 1972 cartoon in a book I borrowed from the local library.

Eerily prescient.

Alistair has gone, but the stench of spin still lingers

Weapons report justifies war

"UK British Foreign Secretary Jack Straw says a first progress report to the US Congress on the search for weapons of mass destruction in Iraq justifies the US-led military invasion to oust former Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein.

After the publication of his report, US inspector David Kay said in Washington that no weapons of mass destruction have been found in Iraq yet, but there is "substantial evidence" that Iraq planned to make chemical and biological arms.

Mr Kay is a US weapons expert who heads the 1,200-strong Iraq Survey Group (ISG) sent to the country after the war that brought down Saddam.

"Kay's report confirms how dangerous and deceitful the regime was, and how the military action was indeed both justified and essential to remove the dangers," Mr Straw said in a statement in London."

Errrrr ... Jack the lad, which "dangerous and deceitful" regimes are we talking about here. Perhaps the ones that mentioned that the sky was due to fall in within 45 minutes? 45 minutes presumably being the time frame in which that Saddam chap could unpack and turn all that nukular material from Niger into chemical arms headed towards Washington, London and Canberra.

Hasn't this 1,200-strong Iraq Survey Group reached the same conclusion the Ambassador for Cuckoo Clocks was already flagging before he was "untimely ripped" from Iraq? Guess it's all in the timing. George, Tony and John needed to get their war on first.

Serious "pants on fire" territory here methinks.