In compliance with Sedgwick's request posted earlier on this board, here are the two greatest tits on the planet for your enjoyment.

"Be proud of your president folks. I swear he slipped me a crippler this long!"

News just in: Ulrika Johnson claims to have been raped by an unnamed showbiz personality. MORE

In their hunt to catch the perpetrator the police are questioning Stevie Wonder and Peters (out of Peters and Lee).

Said Chief Inspector Corner of the Yard, "These two are the most likely candidates although we'll also be questioning Kermit the Frog and Pinky and Perky. As yet we haven't ruled out the bloke from the Krankies as, quite obviously, he'll shag anything."

Last week Channel 4 gave us the incredibly over-rated Clockwork Orange.

This week's offering was The Blair Witch Project...quite possibly the most overhyped, under-achieving, unfrightening load of fucking bullshit like dude man, like, it was just repetetive fucking shit fucking like man, like...and it was like fucking annoying repetetive bullshit too man 'cos like it just went on and on repeating itself dude all the fucking time man and it was crap and fucking bullshit and fucking repetetive dude and complete fucking like fucking waste of repetetive fucking video fucking tape man dude like dude man fuck AAAAAAAAAAAAAARHGH! Channel 4! You should be so sorry! Long gone are the seasons of truly great films! The Jean de Florets, the Betty Blues, the Man Bites Dogs! Instead we're reduced to this banal bollocks! Sod the ratings dudes and give us back some proper culture you fucking dude man bullshit dude bastards. You'll be showing us fucking dude football next man!

In fact, The Blair Witch Project was so crap that, after an hour when it became apparent that the irritating little tossers weren't going to die horribly for ages yet, I actually turned over and watched "The 100 Greatest Britons" on the BBC. Oh please! Don't get me started! More like twenty reasonable Britons and the Eighty Greatest Tosspots to emerge from this god-forsaken country. Princess Diana? Princess fucking Diana like dude man fuck man dude tit. And to witness Johnny Fuck-The-Establishment Rotten proclaiming that Diana was great because she challenged the monarchy...well that's enough for me. This afternoon I'm throwing the television out of the window at the next little twat who calls collecting pennies for the guy so help me God I will!

STOP PRESS

Luciano Pavarotti complains that there isn't enough food in the world. Maybe the fat warbling Italian twat should stop eating it all then!

PATRIOT MEMES: The Genetics of Cultural Conformity and Mass Hysteria - Part IV

The Mighty President of the World, Dubya “Champion of Democracy and Crusader Against Terrorism” Bush, has called upon the military to assist the beleaguered Washington Police Department in the apprehension of the sniper. A few chickenshit pencil-necks have complained that this is in violation of the 125 year old (and outdated) Posse Comitatus Law that forbids military involvement in civil law enforcement. Sources close to the President have proof that the sniper is actually Osama Bin Laden in disguise and is therefore considered too dangerous for the police to tackle alone. The continuing military presence in Washington has nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that the Senate’s democratic leadership has so far failed to accept the president’s God given right to deny any and all of the new Homeland Security Department’s employees the right to union representation.

Sieg Heil

Who am I am to deny to the public what they want?
Enjoy.

(And next week, if you're really good, I'll show you my whimbrel)

Australian Porn



But Mr. Hughes, more shocking is bicultural Porn.The digitally remastered "Menage à Widdows 3".