Peter speaks on gun crime and control of firearms. Grrr.

Today I read a fine report on the state of gun crime and the recent Government Legislation. Now, what soon occurred to me was the absurdity of the accusations being made by the reporter who was writing. Allow me to show some of the figures:

Highest increase - 310% North Yorkshire. 28 incidents

Other high rises - 240% Dorset 34 incidents, 100% Wiltshire 26 incidents

Now, am I the only one that thinks this is merely fuelling public hysteria? Having used weapons personally, had some training with them, and also had contact with weapon owners across the pond, I cannot help but see that this is a great inflation of a problem that the government have themselves cause. Talk about creation of a social folkdevil! As it is, the newspapers merely gloss over the fact that over 10 of the regions surveyed had had a drop in gun crime, most significantly Kent's 45% decrease. you really have to ask that, if this problem is so bad, why has it escalated so fast?

Now, let me take you back to 1995. This year was a big stepping stone to what we have with regards gun legislation now. This was the year of the Dunblane massacre, a LICENCED handgun owner used 4 semi-automatic pistols to kill lots of school children and a teacher. That was a tragedy in every sense of the word. But I can't help but sense that it was a police-made incident. Every licenced owner of a firearm is supposed to be checked with health and criminal records to make sure they are mentally stable, as well as being interviewed BY POLICE to see if they are "suitable" to own them. After the massacre, it was released by papers that he had been suffering clinical depression for months, and was suicidal. WHY THE HELL DIDN'T THE POLICE CHECK THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?!?!

So from there and the various incidents that have followed, we reach today. Since 1995, hand guns have been banned (eliminating the sport of pistol shooting - the British "national" team has to train abroad for competition) while restrictions on de-activated weapons, automatics, shotguns, rifles and other firearms have been restricted beyond recognition since 1995. Before Dunblane, the issue of firearms was idle and not worth bother. Since then, the personification of all that is evil in the world within British society is the gangsta in the hood with the illegal pistol ready to "bust a cap in yo ass".

So let's look at the legislation that was brought in this week. Licencing of air rifles brought in and you have to be 17 or over. I'm sorry, but that is laughable. I can just imagine the aforementioned gangsta walkin' up for his gang murdering, as they all do of course, and shooting the person 7 times before he even noticed the pellets had penetrated his jumper. Air rifles are hardly strong enough to cause anything more than a scratch and lead poisoning from the pellets, let alone murder from AN ILLEGAL MACHINE GUN!! 5 years if you are caught with any gun without a good reason. How pointless is that?! How is such a law going to stop the use of concealed firearms? And lastly, the banning of replica weapons without good reason for having them. Erm.... the Home Office check to make sure they could never chamber nor fire a proper, usable round of ammunition. Why even bother with a law like this when the Home Office ALREADY does checks on the weapons already available? "But they import them, and those can be used!". WELL WHY DON'T THEY FUCKING LEARN AND BAN THE BLOODY IMPORTS!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!!

So tell me. If you ban every firearm possible, what will this achieve? More people will use illegal guns. Geez, no criminal is going to walk around with a stick and walk up to ladies and politely ask for their money. Neither, in fact, will criminals give a TOSS whether the weapons are illegal! In fact, I'd say that by banning them, they are making gun use more widespread. The government has an exceptionally naieve policy regards firearms, it would appear.

Surely a better way to lower gun crime (as has been exhibited in Greater Manchester) is to give people more experience with firearms. EDUCATE. To KNOW why they are bad, why they should not be used for ill purpose. As it stands, no one in the country beyond current owners, ex-military personnel and current servicemen know *anything* about weapons. Surely if people new and/or understood firearms, they would not think they were hard or tools for being a bad-ass, but rather things that while serving a purpose should not be used for crimes.

"BUT WAIT!!!" says the young Labour MP in the front row. "We do not want to create a neo-Fascist young gun culture from our youth! Surely reintroducing guns into society would INCREASE gun crime!!" he exclaims! "Bollocks" I reply. Look at countries in our own EU such as Switzerland, where they have no army at all. Every adult from 25 to 32 has a semi-automatic rifle and an allotment of ammunition so that if war comes around, they may take up arms in defence of their country. Do you see them "popping a cap" in the asses of oncoming traffic while at a traffic light? HELL NO. Why? Because the Swiss from a much younger age teach responsibility and carefulness with firearms.

I would rather see a state where the government were tough on gun crime and tougher on the owning of firearms BUT ACTUALLY ALLOWED IT rather than banning them left, right and centre. As a Second World War re-enactor, I am seeing our hobby over the rest of the periods slowly reduced to nothing as anti-gun policy impinges on our representation of our military forces. It's a wonder how we have gold medalist shooters at the Olympics or Commonwealth games when some of them are PICKETED when training ABROAD for the events!

Two words describe this approach: Counter Productive.

Thanks for your time. Venting over.

Peter Cooper - Finally returned. He can't even believe Larry Miller beat him there!!

Editor's Note: This is more like it! A bit of controversy! Ban all guns from Britain?! Never! The suicide rate amongst the farmers would fall dramatically and that would never do! Peter, welcome to the board. Good to see you putting yourself in the firing line so quickly.

97: Lord Jeffrey Archer, Earl of Wessex. Born 1965 this ruggedly handsome man with a devilish twinkle in his eyes and a roguish smile playing across his thin lips, soon rose from the foetid back streets of Cockney (an area in East London) to prominence as leader of the Tory Party, Princess Diana's 'Rock' and the Saint of Tax Collectors.

Following a series of rape accusations in the 80's (allegations that were thrown out of court due to insubstantial evidence and a few Masonic back-handers) Archer and his spotty back went on to spearhead the 'Corrupt Right-wingers Against Poverty' committee (otherwise known as C.R.A.P.) whilst writing a chain of best-selling novels. 'Works of Genius that out-rival Shakespeare' (Lord Archer 1982).

Further accusations followed concerning political corruption, bribery, plagiarism and appalling literary skills. Undaunted Archer continued to champion the underdogs with his grammatical ineptitude until the jealousy of his peers led to his downfall. He was arrested in 1999 for '...being too good looking by half.' Banged up with Mr Big in the showers for five years (despite further Masonic manoeuvring) Archer, from the dusty confines of his luxury cell-suite, continued to produce his works of literature and hold elaborate parties with the Hamiltons. This time his books contained more 'bum-rape' scenes than previously.

Running the Theatre Royal on Drury Lane from his bedside cabinet, Jeffrey Archer finally died in January 2003 when a bar of soap became wedged up his sphincter and caused him to choke on the warden's dick. Now buried in Poet's Corner he will best be remembered as the latter-day Jesus Christ and messianic author of the Holy Scriptures.

There was an article in the Clitoris Times about a member of the Sisterhood battering her husband to death with a pickaxe. The trial was dismissed because "...she was suffering from PMT at the time and couldn't control her emotions." Way to go, Sis! Some men deserve to die horribly! Being noisy with the Hoover when a woman's suffering like that, what do they expect? Actually I'll correct that statement...all men deserve to die horribly, inconsiderate child molesters that they are. The courts need more female judges who understand what it's like to experience pain once a month. And a change in the law too! One that allows the 'murder of anything male' by whatever torturous means. A knitting needle through the bollocks for angry old grandmas to exact their revenge. A dildo smacked repeatedly up the arse until men's kidneys burst...let's see how they like it! A cat o' nine tails wielded maniacally THAT'S ENOUGH OF THAT!

Editor's Note: An extension to the law for sufferers of gallbladder disease, whose pains are far more violent than those brought about by the menstrual cycle, allowing them to staple the mouths of ignorant feminists together might be a better bet.

Thought for the New Year: Convention is generally bigoted, stubborn and ignorant. That's why it's hard to argue against.

There will always be conflicts, despite the insistence of politicians that this will be the 'War to end all wars."

There will always be corruption, those committing the crimes being victims of peer-group pressure and the need-for-greed themselves.

There will always be elitism...be it religious, political, cultural or ethnic. The very act of starting a movement to stamp out elitism is elitist in itself.

There will always be an invented God to take the place of individually decided ethics, if not in the Christian sense then in the Jewish, the Hindu, the Raelian, new age ideology, ghosts, fairies and things that go bump in the night.

There will always be the merry-go-round of ideas that create the generation gap. Ideas as radical as the hills, perennially compelling to the young and ignorant and the old and crusty alike.

There will always be homogenisation and commercialisation and the real artists and poets will always be relegated to the backwaters of life until such times as their memories can be resurrected for exploitation without royalties.

And there will always be Scrag Ends, no matter how much the rest of you protest:

A group hoping to lessen U.S. reliance on foreign oil on Wednesday debuted two television ads that link gas-guzzling sport utility vehicles to terrorist funding. The ads mimic spots that link drug money to terrorism.

One commercial features a child's voiceover and shows a man filling his gas tank and footage of terrorist training. The closing statement: "Oil money supports some terrible things. What kind of mileage does your SUV get?" The other ad shows people talking about their SUVs. One says, "My kids think it's cool." Another says, "I helped blow up a nightclub."

Hee hee hee...

Editor's note: All the more reason why America should bomb seven buckets of crap out of the Middle East (along with the usual smattering of Allied British troops of course) and take control of the oil wells. Can't have good old American dollars being wasted on turban-lovin' arabs!

Here are a few more anagrams for you!

YASSER ARAFAT
A faery rat ass

OSAMA BIN LADEN
Abandon a smile

GEORGE DUBYA BUSH
D'oh, buggery abuse
Bogus guy be heard
Huge absurd bogey
US bugger head boy

BENJAMIN NETANYAHU
Jenin ban - may hate UN

SADDAM HUSSEIN
Anus dims shade
UN heads sadism
I had US madness
Dead man's sushi
Head ass dims US
Add shame in US

ANTHONY BLAIR
Biathlon yarn
A nylon birth
Horny anal bit
Hannibal Tory
A Libyan thorn
Hotly ban Iran

The last two anagrams are obviously an encoded threat to other parts of the Arab world once Tone has helped liberate Iraq from its indigenous population.

Gratuitous dust free, new, neat as a pin Feral Eye Cartoon de la Jour.
(Accept no substitutes or geriatric *classics*.)

Crusty Old CLASSIC Scrag End of the Week...

Dusted down and brought out of retirement solely to flesh out the Rant of the Week Board: