THE WAR CONTINUES TO GO SWIMMINGLY.

Misfires send US missiles into Saudi Arabia

"Some US Tomahawk cruise missiles aimed at Iraq have fallen on Saudi Arabia, forcing planners to suspend certain routes for launches, US military commanders say."

Iraq threatens regular suicide attacks

Iraq says a suicide bomber who has killed four US soldiers in Najaf was an army officer. Baghdad has warned that suicide bombings by troops will become "routine military policy".

US, Britain recruiting UN inspectors to help in Iraq: Blix

!Warning! The contents of this section contain explicit irony.
You must be a non American 18 years of age or older to appreciate this item. "The United States and Britain are recruiting United Nations (UN) arms inspectors to help find banned weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, chief UN weapons inspector Dr Hans Blix told Swedish Radio in an interview on Saturday local time."

Turkey issues warning to US over Iraq

"Turkey's Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan has warned the United States the country would make up its own mind on whether to send troops into northern Iraq as Kurdish groups controlling the breakaway region advanced on the oil-rich city of Kirkuk."

Al Jazeera cameraman released after US interrogation

"A cameraman for the Arabic satellite network Al Jazeera, who had been reported missing near the southern Iraqi city of Basra, has been freed after a half-day interrogation by US forces, the Qatar-based channel said."

Journalists with US forces forbidden to use sat-phones

"Certain units among US forces fighting in Iraq have forbidden journalists travelling with them to use Thuraya satellite telephones for reasons of operational security, a senior US commander said."

No evidence of Al Qaeda-linked forces in southern Iraq: US

"The US military has no firm evidence that groups linked to Osama bin Laden's Al Qaeda movement are fighting alongside Iraqi forces in southern Iraq, a senior US commander said."

First British war dead arrive home

"The first of 23 British servicemen killed in the opening days of the Iraq war have been flown home to a solemn ceremony with military honours. Underscoring the grimness of the ceremonial was the fact that none of the 10 dead who arrived back on Saturday local time, were killed by enemy fire."

---

Referral update.
never find frogs in your underpants
brothel dubai
"james dean"+"death was caused by"
"Susan Sarandan naked"
Naked nun movie stills

Our lads may be up to their necks in sand and spin, but their quest for knowledge never wanes.

Oh what a bloody mess we make, when first we try to liberate.

Angry protesters have taken to the streets across the Middle East again today, burning American flags, declaring war on Bush, holding naked ankle protests etc. Meanwhile Iraqi exiles are flooding back into Iraq to volunteer for Suicide Bomb Squads. (Apparently they get two posthumous medals if they blow themselves up within three feet of coalition forces...cool!)
President Bush, however, continues undaunted. "It's not fair!" he stated on his radio chat show this afternoon. "The Iraqis aren't playing by the rules. Daaaaaaad! Come and sort 'em out for me will y'?"
Back in Blighty, George's friend Tony has been sent to bed without any supper, to '...think about what he's done...' He was last seen unshaven, in his dressing gown, watching reruns of old Question Times, his eyes moist and his career in tatters.
Donald Rumsfelt, his one time schoolchum and confident, commented, "Well, that's the way it goes, folks. Now I've godda get back on my rocking horse and whoop some sand nigger ass! Yeehaw!"

The trials and tribulations continue...

Another market place was hit today, although by what and by whom it's difficult to say. America denies any knowledge of the incident, shifting the blame instead to 'dishonourable Iraqi tactics' and, presumably, those weapons of mass destruction they'd hidden under an apple cart. Whatever the case there were fifty civilians injured this time...and fifty more killed outright. Meanwhile a suicide bomber driving a taxi in downtown Iraq has killed five American soldiers. Dubya described the incident as illustrating the difference between decent, traditional American warfare and disgusting, slimy, brown-headed Iraqis' evil smelling murder tactics. Back home the war office, or the cabinet, or some other such Government department, has apologised for Tony Blair's use of the phrase "executed". They ought to be apologising for a damned sight more than that.

According to the inference of Donald Rumsfelt this time last week the Iraqi regime was supposed to have fallen by now, three civilians at the most would have died, Saddam's head would be being paraded through the streets of Baghdad this morning on the end of a stick carried by liberated towel-heads eating McDonalds burgers and offering their genitals to Coalition forces with enormous gratitude. Instead the invasion is stuck at Umm Qsar, which itself is far from secure yet. Millions face starvation across Iraq because the aid can't get through. And, if the Iraqi Minister for Information is to be believed, British soldiers are now bombing the crap out of Bahsrhah's food stores. Actually I thought they'd bombed the Information Ministry this morning but obviously not. ("It was that place with all the stalls in it and loads of people milling about, wasn't it Sarg?")

To say that the war is going badly would be wrong. It's already gone bad. Now it's getting worse. And if the fuck up hasn't wiped the smug grin from Bush's face (he doesn't understand what's happening yet so he's still wandering around with a hard on feeling superior to everybody else) then it's certainly starting to show on Tony Blair's haggard mush. If Uncle Tony had found himself between a desert and a hard case before he's now sinking in a quagmire of murder, mayhem, illegality and faltering public opinion. He might not have expected this. But most of the rest of us did. The fact that he wouldn't listen and arrogantly lead Britain towards this grimy fate it would appear is starting to dawn on him. His sticky-out ears are starting to flag. His jowls are drooping. His skin has become ashen and his cheeks withdrawn. And you could almost hear what he was thinking at the Camp David press conference the other day. "For fuck's sake George...don't say anything. The British people won't buy it...please keep your mouth shut...you're making me look like a tit." Well you are a tit, Tony...and that's about the only smidgen of truth we can be certain of these days.

Dep. Ed. notes further alert ...

UN launches appeal for $2.2b in aid for Iraq

"The United Nations has launched a flash appeal for $2.2 billion to provide immediate humanitarian assistance to the people of Iraq.

The world body says the funds, which would include $1.3 billion in food aid, are needed to avert a humanitarian crisis over the next six months."

Condomlezzie Rice responded on behalf of the Amerkin administration with a strongly worded communique (sorry, that sounded just a bit too Gallic) message. "Don't call us, we'll call you ... or not. Crisis! What crisis? There is no crisis! If you don't believe me then ask the reporters on the spot. We have the most accurate, informative and objective embedded reporters that money and threats to their future employment prospects can buy. Now bugger off!"