Sunday, June 22, 2003

Bush blames failure to find WMD on looters

By Rupert Cornwell in Washington. 22 June 2003
"It has taken more than two months. But belatedly, from his Democratic challengers for the White House and in committee rooms on Capitol Hill, President George W Bush is starting to feel the heat of the controversy over Iraq's missing weapons stockpiles.

In his weekly radio address yesterday, Mr Bush was forced to produce a new explanation of why the US has not found Iraq's alleged chemical and biological weapons. He told listeners that suspect sites had been looted in the closing days of Saddam Hussein's regime."

Just who was it that was supposed to be "crawfishing" and "stiffing the world"?

Poor George doesn't have a stellar record in his "huntin' 'em down and smokin' 'em out" campaigns ... WMDs, Osama, Saddam.

In the following weeks expect to hear George offering the following explanations and excuses for the WMDs not jumping up and biting the Doubting Thomases on the bum.

  • Saddam's dog ate his Weapons of Mass Destruction.

  • The WMDs were abducted by aliens.

  • I never had hostile relations with those Weapons of Mass Destruction.

  • The US company what sold them has repossessed them because Saddam fell behind in his payments.

  • The stockpile of 30,000 munitions, 500 tons of chemical weapons, 25,000 liters of anthrax and 38,000 liters of botulinum toxin what I mentioned in the State of the Union address could fit on the head of a pin and would be rooly hard to see.

  • I thought Condalezza said WMDs could destroy the world. She says PMS, I hear WMD. Shit happens.

  • It's all Colin Powell's fault. He told that if I didn't do it then he wouldn't be my friend.

  • It's all Tony Blair's fault. His MI5 nancy boys made all this stuff up, then ran away.

  • It's all that merde Jack Chirac's fault. He told me he'd be my friend, then ran away.

  • It's all John Howard's fault. He told me to do all this stuff, then power walked away.

  • It's all that bully Rumsfeld's fault. He said he'd dob on me to my dad if I didn't do it.

  • It's all my dad's fault. He didn't make Saddam say sorry and promise never do it again when he had his fight with him.

  • Anyways it's all Bill Clintons fault!

  • Mummy, make the boogie men go away. Mummy ... I want my blankie!