Monday, December 22, 2003

Even more Bull's Gonads

"The American Soldier" has been named Time magazine's "person of the year".

The weekly magazine says it is using the term broadly to include men and women in all branches of the US armed forces.

The editor of Time magazine, Nancy Gibbs, says US Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld suggested the choice when Time editors met him at the Pentagon in November.

"They swept across Iraq and conquered it in 21 days. (!? ... seems like both "Time" and GWB suffer from nationalistic priapism and premature ejaculation.) They stand guard on streets pot-holed with skepticism and rancor. They caught Saddam Hussein. They are the face of America, its might and good will, in a region unused to democracy. The U.S. G.I. is TIME's Person of the Year ."

Amidst this crock of patriotic hyperbole from Time (what has outed itself as the publishing arm of the US Department of Defence) I'm surprised that no mention of The American Soldier being faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive and possessing the ability to leap tall buildings in a single bound.

"The American solider was represented on the cover of Time by three helmeted and uniformed soldiers from an artillery survey unit of the US Army's 1st Armored Division nicknamed the "Tomb Raiders" after being assigned the task of searching for weapons in a Baghdad cemetery."

Seems odd to select the "Tomb Raiders" who seem to have been monumentally unsuccessful in their grave task of finding the legendary WMDs. Then again maybe Time has discovered that weapon which has always eluded the Americans ... irony.