Neverland? Neverlearn!!!

So, Jacko the Weirdo is being investigated for child abuse yet again. How come the parents who expose their children to a man, who has long been suspected of being a serial paedophile, aren't being investigated for potential reckless child endangerment?
I mean, would you let your kids share a bed with him? For any amount of money?

Yank Irony?!

Seen on BBC News 24 last night - young Americans being polled on Britain's contribution to the "special relationship". One young lady sees Britain's support as legitimising the US's international policies such as the "war on terror".
Legitimise?
How can a lying bastard like St Tony of Bleugghh legitimise anything another lying bastard has proposed?

Aint lurv grand?

On the BBC1 Breakfast with Frost programme President Bush also heaped praise on Tony Blair. He said: "I value his advice and I - every time I visit with him, whether it be on the phone or on video or in person ... he's got some interesting ideas about how to advance a positive agenda.

Sexed up sexy phone calls to Tony ... way to go Georgie Boy. I've seen the "Tony does the Electorate" video and it rocks. Every voter gets screwed! In person? Dunno, you have to draw the line somewhere.

"visit with him" ... bloody A'merkins at it again!

"I value his advice and I - "

Yes George, "and I - ", "and I - ", and I what? Where was that dangling proposition actually headed George?

I do not believe it! Sorry, of course I do.

Home Secretary David Blunkett has refused to grant diplomatic immunity to armed American special agents and snipers travelling to Britain as part of President Bush's entourage this week.

In the case of the accidental shooting of a protester, the Americans in Bush's protection squad will face justice in a British court as would any other visitor, the Home Office has confirmed.

The issue of immunity is one of a series of extraordinary US demands turned down by Ministers and Downing Street during preparations for the Bush visit.

These included the closure of the Tube network, the use of US air force planes and helicopters and the shipping in of battlefield weaponry to use against rioters.

In return, the British authorities agreed numerous concessions, including the creation of a 'sterile zone' around the President with a series of road closures in central London and a security cordon keeping the public away from his cavalcade.

The White House initially demanded the closure of all Tube lines under parts of London to be visited during the trip. But British officials dismissed the idea that a suicide bomber could kill the President by blowing up a Tube train. Ministers are also believed to have dismissed suggestions that a 'sterile zone' around the President should be policed entirely by American special agents and military.

Demands for the US air force to patrol above London with fighter aircraft and Black Hawk helicopters have also been turned down.

The President's protection force will be armed - as Tony Blair's is when he travels abroad - and around 250 secret service agents will fly in with Bush, but operational control will remain with the Metropolitan Police.

The Americans had also wanted to travel with a piece of military hardware called a 'mini-gun', which usually forms part of the mobile armoury in the presidential cavalcade. It is fired from a tank and can kill dozens of people. One manufacturer's description reads: 'Due to the small calibre of the round, the mini-gun can be used practically anywhere. This is especially helpful during peacekeeping deployments.'

Ministers have made clear to Washington that the firepower of the mini-gun will not be available during the state visit to Britain. In return, the Government has agreed to close off much of Whitehall during the visit - the usual practice in Britain is to use police outriders to close roads as the cavalcade passes to cause minimal disruption to traffic.

A Home Office spokeswoman said: 'Negotiations between here and the US have been perfectly amicable. If there have been requests, they have not posed any problems.'

An internal memo sent to Cabinet Office staff and leaked to the press this weekend urged staff to work from home if at possible during the presidential visit. Serious disruption would be caused by 'the President Bush vehicle entourage requesting cleared secured vehicle routes around London and the security cordons creating a sterile zone around him'.

Meanwhile, negotiations are continuing between police and demonstrators about the route of the march. Representatives of the Stop the War Coalition will meet police at Scotland Yard tomorrow to discuss whether protesters will be able to march through Parliament Square and Whitehall. Spokesman Andrew Burgin said he hoped for 'a good old-fashioned British compromise'.

Sorry Britain. Australia has already had first go at brown-nosing Dubya. (And did it in spades.) We have first dibs on being the 51st state. However (if you don't mind a bit of gratuitous advice from an inmate of one of your former penal colonies) it seems that you limeys are not going about it in the right way to sew up the 52nd star on the flag. For one, you chaps need to ship that uncooperative commie bastard Blunkett off to Guantanamo Bay tout sweet.

"a 'sterile zone' around the President "?!? Oh, oh, oh! If I were one for cheap shots now would be the moment for me to pull out one of those lovely sounding 'mini-guns'.

Still Just Visiting...

FIGHTBOX: BBC2 FRIDAY EVENINGS!

What an excellent premise for a family entertainment show...especially if you're the sort of person who wants to watch half an hour of somebody else playing a third rate version of Tekken, without any of the special moves that Tekken has...in fact without any real moves at all, to be honest, except for a pathetic punch...and without the smooth animation or the opportunity to have a bash yourself...er...not that you'd actually want to.
For everyone else (and that means 'everyone') here's a bit of advice, go down to your local video games shop and watch the introduction to some new fighting game over and over again. I guarantee it'll be more interesting and more impressive that Fightbox and it won't have those two gimboids reviewing every meaningless bout and talking shit in the middle of it.
To think that the BBC actually got rid of Robot Wars (which is now doing nicely over on Channel 5 incidentally...good old Channel 5!) and replaced it with this pointless crap. They really don't get it, do they? I mean if it wasn't bad enough that they should try to rip off Time Team with some fat, inbred monstrous baby of a man sporting a pathetic lisp and flying round Yorkshire in a helicopter talking out of his massive arse, they had to go and produce this drivel.
Like the politicians and nepotistic aristocrats that run the bastard thing, the BBC is out of touch, out of ideas, anachronistic and extremely expensive. Time to get rid of the license fee folks...I for one would be more than satisfied with the three channels that we'd still have left.

Still just visiting...

More terrorist alerts have been issued for Britain with convenient expediancy as George Bush is about to arrive and, under British law, there's no other way of shutting off the streets of London to anti-war protesters.
"The coincidence between George's visit and the alerts is simply that...coincidence..." insisted Tony Blair to anyone who actually gave a shit this afternoon.
"In fact the whole thing's a bit like Miss Marple," commented Mr Pint on the issues raised in the Fisherman's Arms, Fleetwood, this evening. "Wherever she goes there's a murder and yet nobody ever pins the blame on her. Wherever George Bush goes there are terrorist alerts and reasons to ban outspoken anti-war polititians from government buildings where he might be visiting. Also like Miss Marple, Bush is a fictional character invented by a right-wing press who, in reality, would be senile, incontinent and full of shit about the comaradery of war."
Mr Pint has since been arrested under the new 'anti-terrorism' bill and was last seen being dragged into the Ministry of Correction at knife point.

One can feck orft! (A quick visit by the original Editor of this board.)

Jug-eared inbred future King Charles Spaniel, Chuck Windsor (nee Saxe Coburgh Hitler) is warding off continued rumours that haven't been published by the press this week. (Really...I thought it was a criminal investigation rather than rumours?)

Charlie was allegedly caught bumming his closest butler over tea and scones, causing another palace servant to suffer nightmares and a nervous breakdown. (The thought of it's enough to make me vomit, I must be honest. Those massive ears flapping around as the butler teabags old Chuck round the gnashers.)

Because of the serious nature of the 'rumour' (you can almost hear Sir Cliff sighing with relief as the pressure is diverted...) the future of the monarchy is now in jeopardy...apparently.

So let me get this straight...so to speak. The fact that Charles represents everything that's fascist, totalitarian, greedy, inbred, nepotistic, elitist, classist and corrupt in Britain today doesn't warrent a mention and doesn't threaten the future of the Royal tax-scrounging bastards in any manner...but performing what is supposedly a perfectly legal act does?

For fuck's sake people...the man's been sleeping with Camilla for years...surely we all knew there was something wrong with him sexually somewhere. Don't bring down the monarchy because you're frightened about gay people for Christ's sake...bring 'em down because they're a bunch of cunts...otherwise some other body of aristocratic, right-wing persuasion will just usurp the power vaccuum and nothing will ever change!

Other news and Prince Edward was shocked at the sudden arrival of his baby daughter. Not as much as the rest of us were, I bet. We all thought the original 'butler bumming' rumours were about him.