Strange Report of the Week

Yesterday, CNN reported a story of a burglar in Australia who is breaking into people's homes, stealing their valuables, and in each case leaves behind a sort of "calling card"...a photocopied picture of his naked bottom. Be honest, Sedgwick...do you have anything to do with this?

Accomplishments as President By GEORGE W. BUSH

* I attacked and took over two countries.

* I spent the U.S. surplus and bankrupted the Treasury.

* I shattered the record for biggest annual deficit in history.

* I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

* I set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.

* I am the first president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.

* I am the first president in US history to enter office with a criminal record.

* In my first year in office I set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in US history.

* After taking the entire month of August 2001 off for vacation, I presided over the worst security failure in US history.

* I set the record for most campaign fundraising trips by any president in US history.

* In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their jobs.

* I cut unemployment benefits for more out-of-work Americans than any other president in US history.

* I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

* I appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in US history.

* I set the record for the fewest press conferences of any president since the advent of TV.

* I signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any other president in US history.

* I presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.

* I presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history and refused to use the national reserves as past presidents have.

* I cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.

* I set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind

* I dissolved more international treaties than any president in US history.

* I've made my presidency the most secretive and unaccountable of any in US history.

* Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history. (The 'poorest' multimillionaire, Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her).

* I am the first president in US history to have all 50 states of the Union simultaneously go bankrupt.

* I presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud in any market in any country in the history of the world.

* I am the first president in US history to order a US attack and military occupation of a sovereign nation, and I did so against the will of the United Nations and the world community.

* I have created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.

* I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any other president in US history.

* I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the Human Rights Commission.

* I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the Elections Monitoring Board.

* I removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of Congressional oversight than any presidential administration in US history.

* I rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.

* I withdrew from the International Criminal Court.

* I refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.

* I am the first president in US history to refuse United Nations election inspectors access during the 2002 US elections.

* I am the all-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations.

* The biggest lifetime contributor to my campaign, who is also one of my best friends, presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEOof Enron Corporation).

*I spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in US history.

* I am the first president to run and hide when the US came under attack (and then lied, saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1)

* I am the first US president to establish a secret shadow government.

* I took the world's sympathy for the US after 911, and in less than a year made the US the most resented country in the world (possibly the biggest diplomatic failure in US and world history).

* I am the first US president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe(71%)view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.

* I am the first US president in history to have the people of South Korea feel more threatened by the US than by their immediate neighbor, North Korea.

* I changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

* I set the all-time record for number of administration appointees who violated US law by not selling their huge investments in corporations bidding for gov't contracts.

* I have removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other president in US history.

* In a little over two years I have created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided that the US has been since the civil war.

* I entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less than two years turned every single economic category heading straight down, record unemployment being the most recent achievement.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

* I have at least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas drug conviction has been erased and is not available).

* I was AWOL from the National Guard and deserted the military during a time of war.

* I refuse to take a drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.

* All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my fathers library, sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

* All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

* All minutes of meetings of any public corporation for which I served on the board are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

* Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

SOURCE.

Same old...same old...

wizzo chaps (chiz chiz) wer now the listnin careing shareing govermmmnt cos our leader hous master toni he say im listnin to the oiks thay kan ee-male me and texk me (hem hem) and tellyfone me and tell me wat thay think and wat i should do with the cuntry (Huraah for Sportsmaster Toni!!!!!) But then he dosent giv anyone his ee-male adresss or his fone number or his texk facks thing whatever it iz so nowon kan get in tuch with him too mak him listen to them. Not that it maters anywa becos if he did here anybody sayin somethin then it wood no dowt be in a dopeler affect as sevral months ago toni alzo say i hav no revers geer so im not listnin anyhow. and besides thos oiks hav nothing worth while saying anywai becose they ar stoopid and hav no propper educashon becos its to expensiv. but all thiz listnin and carin stuff maks uz look gud and wat with chrimbo coming (raz raz) we need evryone to ralli behind uz and help uz put ar decorashons up in the first formers house ov comons room so we beter luk good or else. Natrally the lord chanslors chrissmaz deckies ar the mos expensive (as usual!!!!!!!!!!!!) costin abowt fife million squid a streemer cos there made of solid gold and its traditshon and wot not. And toni say mek sure that deupty hed boy lardars prescott dosent eet all the pork pies again thiz yeer like he did last chrispmas and then get drunk and punch the refectry staff in there oiky faces chiz chiz!
anyways i say hapy chrispmass evryone and hers to clare short former hed gurl wererever she mite be.

Diego Garcia - doesn't he run the tapas bar on the High Street?

The Ilois (also known as Chagossians) are one of the most poverty-stricken groups of people in the world. They are Creoles, claiming descent from the ancestors originating from India, Madagascar, Mauritius and Mozambique who were mostly African slaves or Indian labourers. Today they number around 7,000 and most of them inhabit an urban slum called Cassis on Mauritius, impoverished and marginalised from Mauritian society.
Life is very hard for the Ilois. They have a 60% unemployment rate (the rate for native Mauritians is 4% for men and 15% for women) and 45% are illiterate. Out of despair many of the younger Ilois men have resorted to alcohol, drugs and crime while many women owe their continuing existence to prostitution. The suicide rate is very high.

So what? There are cultures all over the world who have an even tougher existence.

On the 21st May, 2002, Jack Straw signed a document that effectively made the Ilois British Citizens as they were formerly inhabitants of a British colony. The problem is, the ungrateful wretches don’t want British passports. They want to go home.

Home is the Chagos Archipelago, a collection of tiny islands and atolls situated in the middle of the Indian Ocean, a thousand miles south of Mauritius. The largest island is a tropical paradise called Diego Garcia. The Ilois survived by fishing or cultivating sugar cane and coconuts. They didn’t have cars, telephones or any gizmo a western culture would consider essential to daily life life. But their culture has flourished in the archipelago since the early nineteenth century and what they did have was theirs – or so they thought.

The Chagos Archipelago is part of the British Indian Ocean Territory (BIOT), or what remains of it after the Seychelles gained independence in 1976. Its three thousand inhabitants lived their lives, bothering no one. But all that changed in 1967.

Just two words changed the lives of the Ilois - strategic importance. In the northern hemisphere the Cold War was at its height. The US needed a base within reach of southern USSR. Britain had the real estate that exactly fitted the bill – Diego Garcia. In a secret deal with the US, the then Prime Minister Harold Wilson, Britain, gave the US a fifty year lease on Diego Garcia and allowed them to establish a military base (the lease expires in 2016). The US Navy has a base on the island and so does the US Air Force (for long range B1 and B52 bombers).

Suddenly the Ilois found themselves labelled as “contract labourers” rather than an indigenous culture. Harold Wilson served up the archipelago to British and US politicians as “uninhabited” which was a cynical lie. Their existence officially denied, even refused birth certificates that could identify them as born and bred Chagossians, the Ilois found themselves illegally and callously disenfranchised.

Between 1965 and 1973 the entire population of the Chagos Archipelago was either conned into leaving their homes or, during the final phase in 1973, forcibly removed, loaded onto boats and relocated to the Seychelles or Mauritius (mostly to the latter). They were forced to abandon their homes, their furniture, their livestock, their land and the cemeteries that contained generations of their ancestors (which made a complete nonsense of the “contract labour” soubriquet even without the birth certificates). Cast adrift in a strange land, destitute and lacking the skills to cope in society completely alien to their culture, the Ilois were left to rot for seven years. Britain then offered some financial assistance but is was pitifully too little, too late and was rejected by the majority of Ilois. They didn’t want foreign money or to live in a foreign slum, they wanted to go home.

In 1982, the plight the Ilois people was championed by World in Action and by a Labour backbench MP by the name of Robin Cook. Cook conveniently forgot all about them when he became a cabinet minister. Perhaps, when he resigned and unleashed his venom against his cabinet colleagues, he also conveniently forgot something else the public ought to know about Diego Garcia.

With the Cold War over Diego Garcia was used as a refuelling base during the Gulf War in 1991. During Operation Desert Fox in December 1998, B52s flew from Diego Garcia base to launch a payload of 100 cruise missiles at targets inside Iraq. The war against Afghanistan saw both B1 and B52 bombers take off from Diego Garcia. The base also played a crucial strategic role during the war with Iraq earlier this year and seems set to be a valuable military asset for some years to come.

In an article penned by Jeremy Corbyn MP, Corbyn points out that, when papers relating to the Diego Garcia deal were released under the thirty year rule, it was discovered that, quote, “Labour ministers and officials were very aware of the Ilois’ existence.” Presumably so were the people, both British and American, who cleared the Ilois out of the islands and saw evidence that they were not merely a transient population – unless you consider 200 years of continued occupation transient.

And the price of causing three thousand people and the following generation abject misery? Five million pound knocked off the price of a Polaris nuclear submarine!!! The US pays no rent or any other remuneration for its occupation of a British sovereign territory.

The Ilois won a seminal victory in the British courts in November, 2001 when their claim to the Chagos Archipelago was recognised, as was the illegality of their removal from their homes. Unfortunately, Phoney Tony, world statesman and indefatigable champion of Human Rights, had his government swiftly launch legislation permitting the Ilois to return to the Archipelago but not to Diego Garcia.

This was too much for the Ilois. Denied their existence, thrown out of their homes without compensation and now winning a victory only to have it snatched from them, they launched a new lawsuit, claiming for compensation against the British Government for the loss of their homes and for personal injury suffered during their eviction and resettlement. Appeal Court judge Mr. Justice Ousely dismissed the Ilois’ claim, perversely accepting the argument of the British Government which insisted that the Ilois held the status of mere contract labourers and not natives and therefore possessing no legal claim to the islands. In effect, Bleugghh took the lie spun by Wilson to oust the Ilois from their homeland and used it to keep them out and not pay them a penny in compensation, and all in the spirit of the “special relationship”. Pity Phoney isn’t as ruthless with the likes of hate-preaching Abu Hamza.

The term “contract labourers” hints at short term occupation of the islands yet the Ilois and their ancestors have inhabited the islands since at least 1814. Some contract!!!!! What sort of legal footing does this give any small nation founded by slaves, the impoverished and the dispossessed?

The judge sympathised, admitting the Ilois had been treated shamefully. Yet he denied them compensation because their claim had now been time barred. This is rich given that the British government refused to recognise the existence of the Ilois for thirty years and they could only bring their case to court once official documents acknowledging their existence had been released under the 30 year rule.

The Ilois continue to fight on, not only on British soil but by taking their case to the American courts too. I wish them well in their quest for justice.

As a foot note to this scandal, the US now has a new, even more sinister use for its base on Diego Garcia. The base is currently playing host to some al-Qaeda terrorists. Among the “guests” being detained and interrogated is Riduann Isamuddin, alias Hambali. Isamuddin is the leader of Jemaah Islamiyah, the Asian terrorist group believed responsible for the Bali bombing earlier this year.

Given the US track record for its treatment of Muslim prisoners held without charge at Guatanamo Bay, Cuba, it’s very likely that similar conditions exist on Diego Garcia which is, of course, firmly situated on British territory. Despite the atrocities these prisoners may or may not have committed, what happens inside Guatanamo is an international disgrace. If this sort of thing is occurring on British soil, with the full knowledge of New Labour ministers, then it is a scandal that potentially equals the recent Hanson enquiry into the death of Dr. David Kelly and the allegations that Downing Street sexed-up a WMD dossier to make a phoney case for a war with Iraq. Could this possibly be the reason for Phoney’s oh so feeble attempts to castigate Dubya for his unethical treatment of Guatanamo detainees whose guilt (or innocence) has not been established?

I think we should be told.

Be afraid, be very afraid!

It is a quiet Saturday night downunder. It's 10 p.m. and it's still hot. The first big bushfires of the season are up and running. The wombats are all tucked up in bed with smiles on their faces. I read them a nice bed-time story. The one about Goldilocks and the 3 incredibly well hung bears.

I've nearly finished the slab of Fosters. Before I pour myself into bed I thought I should have a look at a site or six. Below are some snippets from some of the finest American blogs it's been my pleasure to try to comprehend.

Sarge's Stars & Stripes Bulletin

A Blog for Americans.........Respecting God, Country and our President! Items of interest for American Citizens and the Servicemembers of the United States Air Force, Army, Navy, Marines, and Coast Guard.

They, who have protected us in the past, protect us in the present and will protect us in the future, under God; we owe our FREEDOM and our THANKS! Now, have a cup a' joe and stay awhile. Ya' know I ain't always Right; but I'm never Left!

Hey you! Don't be a pinko commie! Support Capitalism, and support this website. Keep praying to Allah, boys. In a few years we'll be sending the Terminator after your ass.

One day the world will realize that the threat from Islamofascists has nothing to do with American foreign policy, or oil, or any other damn thing. These are people who have declared war on the west, and it is a war that the west simply must win.

Unfortunately I think that it is going to take another massive terrorist attack before some begin to acknowledge this indisputable fact.

IF THE DRAFT WILL LET ME SERVE AGAIN, THEN I'M FOR IT!

Moments like this one reminds me of the President we all got to know right after 9/11, the man some of us already knew as Governor of Texas, a standup guy with his heart in the right place and a keen sense of what's right and what's wrong and humility and gratitude towards those who man the wall throughout the long, dark night, keeping us all safe inside.

THAT'S the Bush that fills me with pride, THAT'S the Bush that I have faith in and THAT'S the Bush that I'd go through Hell and high water for.

Right We Are! - a conservative, pro-US, Republican blog by two chicks on the Right side!

OK, I really dislike this asshat [Al Franken] and he may very well try to run for the senate. Well, I must admit I would much rather these celebs who are on the left put their money where their mouth is and run for office instead of just using their celebrity to run at the mouth and write books when that is not their job. In the past, it only seemed like Republican celebs actually got the balls to run and be a politician. Ronald Reagan, Sonny Bono, Fred Thompson, Arnold and so on.

These "movie stars" [Susan Sarandon and Martin Sheen] flap their lips but never actually step up to the plate and "DO" anything. The "Terminator" is temporarily giving up his movie career and getting into office! He's not just at some movie premier flapping his lips.

I hate this woman [Barbra Streisand] more and more each day. What else is new in her little rich bitch world besides more pissing and moaning? Frankly I'm surprised she has not gotten together with the pile of poo Michael Moore to make more movies with lies.

Welsh Titbits

Dirty Sanchez: Channel Four Friday Night

Now here's an original premise...a group of sad tossers whacking each other as hard as they can with rulers, elastic bands, large slabs of metal etc. Nothing like Jack Ass at all really, except with gentials on view, bad language not bleeped out and Welsh accents.
Having witnessed last night one mindless bellend slapping his testicles into a snooker table pocket whilst his mate took pot shots at them (bursting his scrotum in the process I should add...thus displaying exactly how much balls a stunt like that requires) I think I can quite safely say that the bravest thing these lads could do would be to admit that they were masochist homosexuals and have done with it once and for all.

For the one you love.

This on the queries log:

cheap arse presents

Blue Poofter (from the BBC Innovations Division) presents - the DIY Christmas butt plug. Take some sticky-back plastic, some recycled Christmas cards and tinsel. Roll them altogether into a tight wad (geddit???) and shove them up the starfish of your loved one.

If you are a bloke seeking something special for the wife/girlfriend/slapper in your life that isn't going to deplete the Crimbo booze fund then Poundstretcher has everything you could wish for.

If it's my other half searching the net out of desperation for a wifely gift idea then please take note that I've just ordered that eight grand orgasmogizmo on your credit card you cheapskate sod.