"The land of the free and the home of the brave!"

or "Coffee, Tea, or Should We Feel Your Pregnant Wife’s Breasts Before Throwing You in a Cell at the Airport and Then Lying About Why We Put You There?"

In late breaking news (for the benefit of our resident sports fanatic Mr. Hughes)

England wins a test match!

Official declaration of the win postponed pending result of swabs. Pakistani bookmaker seen in the Australian team's dressing room. Don't mention the Waughs.