Tuesday, February 04, 2003


SENIOR TORY MAKES STAND AGAINST RISING CRIME


Ann Widdecombe, despairing of New Labour's inability to lock up burglars, today unveiled the latest weapon in the war against crime - her pet cat, Twiggy. Said Mrs. Widdecombe, "Ten stones of furry spite crushing your gonads is a better deterrent than Lord Chief Justice Woolf's ridiculous old lag's poetry classes any day!"