1) All artists are puffs. And so are actors. Apart from John Thaw, he was all right.
2) That Queen Mum, she was a right decent woman who did loads of good stuff for the country with her charities and stuff. Just like Princess Diana. Pity she died. I'd have shagged her.
3) We fought the Second World War to keep the nig-nogs out. Now look at the state of the country. It's bloody full of them. And they're not like us, you know? They're not civilised. They crap in their bathtubs and eat dog food because they think it contains real dogs.
4) That Maggie Thatcher was the best thing that ever happened to us. If it wasn't for her I wouldn't have my own decorating business today. Or own my own council house. God bless her.
5) The bloody unions are ruining this country. Especially that one with the nig-nog in charge of it.
6) What do you mean, not everyone likes sport? All blokes like football and that's a fact. Those who reckon otherwise are just lying out of their arseholes to impress their birds or something.
7) That Michael Barrymore, he's a funny bloke, but he shouldn't bum young boys and then drown them. That's the trouble with queers. They always end up killing each other and spreading aids. What they need is a good shag with some bird with big knockers. That'd teach them.
8) Fucking Iraqis, coming over here and stealing our jobs. We need to nuke them and sort the problem out once and for all. I'm with Bush. He might be American but he's all right in my book.
9) Women like men who kick them around a bit. It makes them feel more feminine. Nothing violent, of course. Just the odd smack in the gob when they haven't got me dinner ready in time.
10) The people in this country ought to stop arsing around and go to war with the ragheads. They're a bloody menace. These wankers who reckon the War is unjustified are just ignorant twats. What would have happened if we'd ignored Hitler during World War Two? The country would be over run by nig-nogs now. Bloody liberals. They're all gay. Next thing you know they'll be letting paedophiles get away with shagging the kiddies.
