Friday, July 18, 2003

Dr. David Kelly, the scientist at the centre of the row between the British government and the BBC over the 'Sexing Up' of the dossier that lead, eventually, to the Iraq war mysteriously vanished from his home yesterday afternoon. This morning a body was discovered in woodland five miles away and, at two thirty this afternoon, police confirmed it as being the missing Mr Kelly. (Does anybody suddenly feel a chill in the air? Memories of the Jeremy Thorpe scandal, Princess Diana and JFK for some reason spring to mind here.)
Yesterday afternoon Andrew Gilligan, the man responsible for the BBC documentary making the allegations against the government in the first place, was called for a second time before the Commons Select Committee. This time however, the meeting was held behind locked doors away from prying cameras and sound recordists. Certain members of the committee i.e. those without an axe to grind, were not invited to attend.
Following the meeting a report was released (produced in record time it should be said) stating that Andrew Gilligan had now retracted his original statement. Andrew Gilligan, however, emphatically denied this alleged change of direction and, speaking on the BBC news, held fast to his original allegations. Naturally the recently pruned Select Committee has come out in force against the BBC once again. After all, they wouldn't want to 'Sex Up' any more reports, would they?
Police are now waiting in the woods near Mr Gilligan's home on the off chance that he might end up the same way as Dr Kelly. (It's getting chillier! There's a heat wave outside and yet I can feel the marrow in my bones starting to freeze.)

Meanwhile, across the Atlantic, Tony Blair and George Bush have been slapping each other heartily on the back, singing each other's praises and delivering speeches to well-rehearsed standing ovations (seventeen in all) whilst continuing to feed their bullshit to a blind American populace.
"I'm sure history will record in our favour," commented Blair. And why not? The Commons Select Committee certainly has.

Deputy Editor's exclusive live video of Bush/Blair meeting.
(Please wait for picture to load, and for Tony to unload.)

When questioned about the tricky subject of the British prisoners held in Guantanamo Bay, President Bush replied, "All I can say with any certainty is, these are bad people." that's judgement already set then! No need for a fucking trial after all 'cos the Prez has spoken. And we all know what an upstanding and truthful person he is.

Back home, following the death of Dr Kelly, the British government under the jurisdiction of Tony 'God Bless America' Blair has promised an independent judicial enquiry into the matter. They will be appointing a judge tomorrow...which sort of begs the question, "Well, where the fuck is the 'independence' in that?"

In the meantime the deaths of thousands of innocent Iraqis at the bidding of Bush and Blair continues without justification although, to listen to Uncle Tony's gob shite, you'd think it was the rest of us that were the lying cunts.

Turn your thermostats up folks. The chill factor in the wind emerging from Uncle Tony and Cousin Dubya at the moment is enough to freeze the balls off a brass correspondent.