Dean reveals IVF baby pain
By JOHN FERGUSON, GENEVIEVE LALLY and PATRICK O'NEIL (Fearless reporters and Rupert's message carriers.)
A HEARTBREAKING struggle to have children through IVF has emerged as a factor in the fall of former high-ranking Liberal Robert Dean.
Dr Dean, who had lived in his Berwick electorate for about a decade, crashed out of the November 30 poll race after it was found he did not live at his enrolled address in Gardiner St, Berwick, in the new seat of Gembrook.
But the dumped shadow treasurer said 15 failed attempts at IVF contributed to a decision to move to a smaller home in Hawthorn. Dr Dean, 50, said not having children meant he and his wife, Helen, did not need a large family home in Berwick.
The couple decided several years ago to buy a smaller house in the electorate and another in Hawthorn.
"Helen and I went through IVF about 15 times; we couldn't have children, it was just devastating," he said.
"So we began living in both places. It's true the more I became involved, the more time I spent in Hawthorn.
"But we always regarded us as having two houses and she needed to have a place outside the electorate as well."
(Sub Ed's note:- Hey Deano I think I might have spotted the problem. Helen is in Berwick, you are spending time in Hawthorn ... unless you have found a way of emailing or faxing the tadpoles to Helen, I think the patter of tiny little Dean feet is not a sound you are likely to hear for some time. Given you forgot to enrol to vote is it possible you have also forgotten something similarly basic in the baby making stakes? )
The specifics of this story are irrelevant, it is posted to indicate that when his preferred Party is in shit up to the top button of its Yve St. Lauren shirt our Rupert will drag out the dunny paper and wipe it all clean.
What a privilege to carry everything to News Ltd. in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry everything to Rupert in prayer."
We breathlessly await poignant stories of Dr. Dean's life and death struggle with acne as a teenager, his sponsoring of starving children in Upper Chad and his chauffeuring of little old ladies across the street in his Roller.
How dare people say that this man is a dickhead who failed, unlike 99.9% of the Victorian population, to realise that if there is an election and you want to vote it is probably a good idea to enrol. If you want to stand as a candidate this is an even better idea. If you want to be treasurer, crossing budget estimate "t"s and dotting privatisation "i"s then attention to fine detail might be part of the job description.
There is absolutely no truth in the rumour that this fine chap tried to con the electorate into believing that he was a fine upstanding member of their community who would look after their every need, albeit with high powered binoculars from a leafy street 20 suburbs away.
The secretary of the Gembrook branch of the Liberal Party, Mrs Lilian Granieri, said that earlier this year she had put it to Dr Dean that he did not live in the electorate. He had replied, "But the people don't know that".
The community spirited chap was understandably distracted by his mission to produce the next generation of electoral candidates for the seat.