Sunday, February 23, 2003

As I sat watching the news about Bleughh’s cringeworthy visit to the Vatican I came over all conspiracy theoretical.
We are made to understand that Holy Tone, an Anglican, needs to top up his sanctity at least once a week and accompanies Saint Cherie, a devout grasping lawyer (Surely you mean Catholic? Ed.) and his Catholic children to the local Catholic church.
Tone has spoken of converting to Catholicism but, after the Pope’s public rebuff, that may not be any time soon.
So what’s the conspiracy here? Well, our blessed leader dangled the multi-billion pound contract to build aircraft carriers for the Royal Navy in front of Chirac’s nose. Who’s willing to bet that Bleughh would have sacrificed the ailing British shipyards and thousands of British jobs, had the French supported the looming offensive against Iraq? Chirac told him to fuck off so the contract went to a British company.
Sadly, Bleughh hasn’t yet learned that there is no dealing with the French on his terms, only on theirs. They are treacherous and hostile and keen to see Britain sidelined or out of the EU (no bad thing there!) as quickly as possible. And Bleughh is willing to give up precious vetos to appease these back-stabbing toad-suckers.
The only bargaining chip Bleughh seems to have with the Pope is his willingness to swap feet. Why he believes the Pope should consider the soul of an arrogant pipsqueak Prime Minister be more important than tens of thousands of Iraqi ones is beyond me. The canny old Pope stuck to his guns though and did a “Chirac”. Bleughh, after years of imbibing all the cheap wine, cruddy crackers, cloying incense and going to the trouble of dragging the wife all the way to Rome on a wasted mission, must have really felt gutted and betrayed by his adopted religion!
Like I said, don’t expect our blessed leader to convert just yet.

Yet another example of New Labour, same old bollocks.