Sunday, May 11, 2003


Mike Carlton: "A few weeks ago I savaged the News Ltd newspapers for their disgustingly cynical appropriation of 12-year-old Ismail Ali Abbas, the Iraqi boy who lost both parents and both arms in a US missile strike.

Now Ismail has been snatched from them. A galaxy of second-rate Hollywood stars has signed up for a campaign to raise money to bring him to America for hospital treatment. Arnold Schwarzenegger, Mariah Carey, Angelina Jolie and Justin Timberlake are on board, according to "promoter" Cheryl Shuman.

"We will bring him here where he can finally feel safe. A lot of these celebrities, including Arnold Schwarzenegger, will hang out with him," Shuman said. George Clooney and Julia Roberts are also expected to sign on any day.

Please pass the bucket. Any one of the above could fix the kid's medical care with a quiet cheque. To see them posturing this way is sickening."

Let's wait for the poor little bugger's story to get the FULL Hollywood treatment. "Three Men and an Amputee", "Forrest Stump", "Limbless in Seattle" and of course remakes of the classics, "A Farewell to Arms" and "To Have and Have Not".

I can hear the compassionate Dubbya (® 2004 Presidential Campaign) at the opening nights. "Step up here you brave little liberated son of a gun, I want to shake your ... errrrr ... HOW THE FUCK DID THAT HAPPEN?!"