Fury erupted throughout the church today as a gay Anglican Bishop was given the go ahead to openly countersink turds. "This just isn't on," commented several archbishops whilst being administered to by their favourite choirboys. "It goes against everything the Bible teaches." The bishop in question, however, disagreed. "I disagree," he said. (Told you so!) "I'm simply turning the other cheek."

Other news and some actress out of Holby City has kicked the bucket after falling out of a tall building. Don't know her name. Don't care either 'cos I've never watched the programme...but I can't help thinking there's some horrible irony in there somewhere.