Tonight I would like to pay homage to those thoughtful and considerate parents who, now that the Summer Holidays are here (six weeks of quality family time), have decided to dump their noisy, irritating and remedial offspring down my avenue as far away from their own houses as they can possibly get whilst remaining within the boundaries of legality!
Thank you so much you skanky, selfish piles of dog shit! You can rest easy in your drug induced comas that my summer has been totally ruined by these dreadful, inbred little cunts charging up and down the fucking path outside my window in the pursuit of what appear to be stone-deaf dinosaurs. If only the vile twats had stayed at home they might have realised that Jurassic Park was on the television and they could have seen as many dinosaurs as their horrible little hearts desired. But obviously their parents don't want the foul little bastards anywhere near their own houses...and, to be fair, I can't say that I blame them.
Listen up irresponsible parents! Scooters, pogo-sticks and footballs are excellent bargaining tools at Christmas but those kids are going to learn how much they hurt when I ram the fucking things up their arses one of these nights. You wanted the damned children, now fucking put up with them! I made a deliberate choice in not producing offspring because, unlike you lot, I have enough brain, character and individuality not to follow the status quo. And I also made a deliberate choice buying a cottage down a street where every house was too small to harbour the screaming little bastards. Your ignorance in chucking these disgusting monsters into our quiet row is astounding, and unless you want them returned to you with fire axes stuck in their heads then you'd better pick the revolting little cunts up now and keep them in your own stinking cesspit houses where they're not going to drive me to commit genocide!
'Nuff said!
Wednesday, July 23, 2003
