Wednesday, August 13, 2003

By 'eck, it's been chilly recently!
An' yet I keep 'earin' people on the telly goin' on about 'ow the weather's smashin' all known records for bein' so 'ot!
Bloody liars, 'scuse my Labia! I've 'ad t' crank me 'eatin' up to three bars an' leave the oven door open!
It's all that Trebor MacDoughnut's fault, the ignorant nig nog! Y' shouldn't have darkies readin' the news, that's what I reckon! Y' just can't trust 'em! Not after that Willy Vanilla fiasco some years ago when those two pop star wallahs was caught pretendin' t' be Des O'Conner and Val Coonigoon. And they couldn't sing at all! Not like those nice white an' orange young men 'oo they was trying to be, in their rocking chairs croonin' with the voices of angels.
Nah...those wig nogs ain't t' be trusted one aorta! Especially not with news what's about the weather bein' so 'ot. 'Ow would they know? They've got black and blue skin what doesn't burn. An' they reflect the 'eat into our eyes so's they can rob us!
An' they can sack that Moira Hindley woman off the ten o'clock news an' all! She's another big wog wig, as my 'Enry (God rest his wallet) quite rightly used t' call 'em! Only she's a wog nig in a wig! Either that or she's got a mop on 'er 'ead. She always sits there all hauty tauty like as though that's 'er proper accent and she's not pretending t' be British so's she can keep 'er job an' suck up t' the queen at all!
Well I ain't 'avin' none of it! I didn't sleep wi' fifty-three Yankee shit Soldiers durin' the War ('scuse my Cock) so's the 'ole bleedin' country could be taken over by black newscasters an' sports presenters!
If we carry on like this we'll be 'avin' bloody Welsh reporters at this rate an' then what's goin' to 'appen?!!
I'm seventeen-two you know, and all me womb 'as turned t' dust because o' this lot!